The Official Writing Challenge
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Wow, this is full on entrigue. You had me holding my breath in disbelief. Hope this is part of a continued story! Good job in showing the relationship between the sword and pen.
The second paragraph confused me a little. I couldn't figure out who was passing the note to whom until I read a little farther along. Otherwise I really enjoyed the suspense and danger in this story. Good job.
04/17/10
Lots of action, adventure, intrigue--good atmosphere.

I read this story three times, and I'm still not clear what exactly was happening, though. I feel as if I'm missing an essential component or two--but it's very possible that it's just some background knowledge I just lack.

This definitely reads like part of a very exciting novel!
It was an exciting story, but I found myself having to stop several times and reread to understand. perhaps the word count limited you. I still enjoyed the suspense, the great details and the general feel of the story. Horrific, about the baby; but a good parable to show how God sacrificed His Son so that we may live to tell the story.