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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Eek! (02/25/10)

TITLE: Seeing Double
By Pam Ford Davis
03/03/10


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Teenage girls have nearly as much fun getting ready for special dates, as experiencing the events. They get to share both anticipation and excitement. Often clothes are swapped and conversation is filled with senseless chatter and laughter.

I spent the night with Lori. Our relationship began under interesting circumstances. Her older brother Rick briefly dated my best friend Carol, and later another friend, Kathy. Following the relationships, we remained good friends.

Carol and I met his kid sister; soon we were hanging out together. We did the usual girl things, long phone calls, sleep-overs and double dates. Oh yes, I remember it well

Lori said, “Let’s start getting ready. I’ll get my shower first.”

Like sardines we both crammed into the only bathroom. She finished her shower, started doing hair and make-up. The radio blared rock and roll favorites. Steam from my hot shower billowed across the tiny room.

Finishing, I stepped from the tub, wrapping a plush bath towel around me. We tried to stay out of each others way as we continued to primp.

Lori’s mom called from the kitchen.

“Loreee, telephone.”

“I’m coming! …. be right back.”

She twisted the door knob, but it would not budge. It finally gave way after repeated efforts of twisting and pushing. I locked the door behind her, and continued to get ready at the vanity mirror.

After a brief time I heard firm knocks at the door. I unlocked it, but just like before, it wouldn’t open. I leaned into the door pushing from my side. I felt the force of it being pulled from the opposite direction.

Working as a team we combined our strength and energy. The frustration of being at the mercy of a jammed door continued to build. Using all my muscle and determination I continued to push.

“I’m trying!”

Finally the door gave way. I heaved a giant sigh of relief.

Great, I’ve worked up a sweat! Now I need another shower!

Expecting to let Lori in, and dressed only in a towel, I instead looked eyeball-to-eyeball with her oldest brother Dave. Eek! He did not realize I occupied the bathroom.

I certainly didn’t know my efforts would allow a male to invade my privacy. Surprise and embarrassment needed no verbal communication. I quickly pulled the door closed again. My heart pounded. My blood pressure rose. I felt heated and humiliated.

Lori returned and knocked on the door.

“Who is it?”

“It’s me.”

Working as a second push-pull team we opened the door to let her in.

“Dave tried to get in! I thought you were back, and kept pushing the door to let you in.”

Lori smiled like a Cheshire cat, breaking into roaring laughter.

“Don’t laugh! All I have on is a towel!”

“Can’t help it! Wish I could’ve seen the look on yur’ face!”

“Some friend!”

“I’m sorry. You have to admit it is pretty funny! He thought I hogged the bathroom. You were working to let me in. All the time I’m on the phone talking to Charlie!”

She started laughing again, gasping and holding her side. Laughter is contagious. I needed to be exposed to relieve my tension and embarrassment.

I did see the irony of the whole mishap. I began to relax, chuckled and laughed until I regained my composure.

I wondered. How could I ever avoid looking in Dave’s eyes again?

More than four decades have passed since my embarrassing experience clad only in a towel. I don’t remember a single detail about double dating that day. I will never forget the double-take with the opening of the door to Dave.

Knock-Knock.

"Who’s there"?

That’s no joke; that’s a one-liner I foolishly omitted.


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Member Comments
Member Date
Verna Mull03/04/10
A darling story. That could be used as my most embarrasing moment! Good job!
Phee Paradise 03/04/10
Funny story with great dialogue. I could picture the embarrassed teenager and the unsympathetic friend.

I wasn't sure why you opened it with a bit of moralizing. I think the story could stand on it's own. You communicated the message well.
AnneRene' Capp 03/04/10
This is so cute and I lived that experience with you! Also some old "teenage memories" of my own. Good Job at painting a vivid background with all of it, especially the steam.
Jan Ackerson 03/05/10
I'm blushing just imagining this!

I think maybe you went on a bit too long--the kicker should have been when the door finally opened with Dave on the other side.

I enjoyed visualizing this scene--a fun, lighthearted morning read.
Gregory Kane03/05/10
My suggestion would be that you cut the first two paragraphs and get straight into your story. This is clearly where your strength.