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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Eek! (02/25/10)

TITLE: Unexpected Turn
By Michael Metz


Standing motionless his head hung low while thinking about his assignment for the day. He's gone up against this foe before – and lost, bad. Agent Heavy tried switching with one of the other's but was avoided like the smell of a backed up sewer. Pleading with the boss was useless since switches were not an option.

Nagged by discouragement he proceeded with a moan knowing he may as well take off and get it over with. A final review of the data on his target and he was on his way to his destination.

The warm night air was dry and stuffy; except for the occasional breeze breaking across the plains in Laredo, Texas when the agent arrived. The failure of his previous attempt haunted him as he reviewed the details of what went wrong.

Pressed for time he moved with fierce determination to arrive at his victims house before they did. Past orders had called for direct, aggressive encounters to trap Rayford. Such an indirect approach at getting to Rayford had not been tried yet. The boss felt the timing was right for a more subversive approach; hence the urgency for the job to be done tonight.

He arrived early enough to watch Rayford Jefferson and his family come home from the prayer meeting. There was something different in there walk and their mood - somber. Once in position the agent had a good view of the kids bedroom windows; figuring after those lights were out he could reposition himself to the master bedroom window. He was familiar with the layout of the house – he at least had that much of an advantage.

At 9:30 p.m. it was lights out for the kids; an hour later the master bedroom was dark. Tension began pushing anticipation throughout Agent Heavy as he remembered the mocking sneers of the other agents. He could not fail or he'd be out for good. With a sort of slithering motion Agent Heavy began his approach. Once in the house he moved carefully, with the precision of a professional, making his way to the youngest childs' bedroom. Tonight he just needed to plant what would eventually bring his target down.

Taking longer than he expected he reached the bedroom door of the youngest child. The appearance of a little figure lay in bed. A moment of victorious satisfaction could be felt – but was short lived when he could feel an eerie presence behind him. He slowly turned, Eek! Rayford. No!"

"You servant of the devil! I give praise to my Lord for His mercy is new every morning! I command you, in the name of Jesus Christ to depart this place. I am the temple of the Holy Ghost and by the authority of the shed blood of Jesus, as a child of the King, you are to leave – NOW!"

Rayford could almost hear the vacuum-like sound made by the departure of the spirit of heaviness. You see, while at the prayer meeting Rayford had felt the leading of the Holy Spirit to read Isaiah 61:3 in his King James Bible, "To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness…" Rayford checked on his children and went back to bed. They needed to get up early tomorrow for his mothers' funeral.

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This article has been read 366 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Jan Ackerson 03/04/10
Wow, lots of action and suspense here!

There were quite a few errors in punctuation and writing mechanics that needed a final polishing, and the final sentence sort of landed with a thud.

This will really fly with fans of the supernatural warfare genre--the 'espionage' approach is unique.
AnneRene' Capp03/04/10
I am "assuming" this is part of a novel, and so much more to read. You grabbed my curiosity with Agent Heavy and just had to see how this ended. I just read another article about the reality of spiritual warfare. Glad to seeing it be addressed again.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 03/08/10
Very suspenseful, I want to know more. you had a few mistakes with missing apostrophes and punctuation, but a little polishing will fix it right up.
You used good description and painted a vivid picture of the somber house.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 03/11/10
Congratulations on the top 15 in your level!