The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/04/10
Wow, lots of action and suspense here!

There were quite a few errors in punctuation and writing mechanics that needed a final polishing, and the final sentence sort of landed with a thud.

This will really fly with fans of the supernatural warfare genre--the 'espionage' approach is unique.
I am "assuming" this is part of a novel, and so much more to read. You grabbed my curiosity with Agent Heavy and just had to see how this ended. I just read another article about the reality of spiritual warfare. Glad to seeing it be addressed again.
Very suspenseful, I want to know more. you had a few mistakes with missing apostrophes and punctuation, but a little polishing will fix it right up.
You used good description and painted a vivid picture of the somber house.
Congratulations on the top 15 in your level!