The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/04/10
Good job at making your readers feel the rustic atmosphere without resorting to adjective abuse.

I'd encourage you to use your full 750 words--this is a fun read, and if you use more words, you can develop characters, plot, etc.
The atomosphere you painted was definitely a breath of fresh air. The ending....you left me, reeeeeally wanting to what those beady little eyes belonged to! :)
03/05/10
Your story left me wondering-why was Jenny there. A foster child? Adopted? Moved from the city? I found that part lacking. But it was creative and cute, just a little too short and the mention of someone being happy to be someplace and not the "why" behind it left me wanting.
I was yearning for more detail as well. you could easily turn this short piece into a devotion with some scripture reference and a pray. Nice job
Congratulations on the top 15 in your level!