The Official Writing Challenge
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03/04/10
Cute. Sort of left me wanting more added, but I am sure it was probably best the way that it was!
03/04/10
Clever idea, with the names giving it the feel of a fable or allegory.

I'd have loved to see you "run with it", and make this into a full-fledged allegory with a moral for your readers.
I loved your ending! Made me lol.
Short and gross....but cute.
Nice job!
You did an excellent job of showing the contrast between the beauty and the ugly in your story. I think I'd really like that bathroom--without the backup! Your names added to understanding the moral of the story.
A cute little story literally demonstrating that pride goeth before a fall.
03/08/10
That's not fair. You can't just end it like that; well I guess you can because you did, but I want to know what happens. Cute name/word puns. Nice half-job :). Enjoyed it. God bless.
03/08/10
Loved the name, Farrah-Cee. Your descriptions were really good but I think you could have done alittle more to develop the story. I wanted more.
03/08/10
Eek! Poor Sarah, what a fall she took at the end. Loved the name "Farrah Cee".

A quick note: when your mc is thinking, you don't use quotation marks. Italics are good for thoughts, but not dialogue.

I think you ended it just right, good job!

03/09/10
I agree that it was good to leave the story hanging. But since you had plenty of space to play with, Sarah could have, say, reminisced about the visit of some other suitably impressed couple, allowing you space to express her character more fully. Referring to her as Martha Stewart is good in as far as it goes, but not everyone is au fait with all that Ms Stewart says and does. Better to have used the comparison as a spring board and then describe your character in your own way.
03/09/10
Fun little fable; short works best for it, I think. Problem in 2nd paragraph: "Sarah's" should have been just "Sarah" which is a small proofreading problem. Good job overall, tho'.
03/09/10
Poor Sarah! Eek, indeed... better to fix the plumbing before the superficials. Yes, this could definitely be an allegory!
03/11/10
I LOVED your story. I thought you did a great job. Especially enjoyed Rev. Righteous and Farrah-Cee. I too think you could draw this out more and make a really cute story.

Not to say this wasn't good, I loved it. I just wanted MORE!
Congratulations on the top 15 in your level!