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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Phew! (02/11/10)

TITLE: Eye Yie Yie!
By Barbara Lynn Culler


“There is a possibility of bleeding in your left eye. I am referring you to an eye specialist for further evaluation.”

This was the report by the doctor during a routine visit to the optometrist. Pryor to this visit, I had noticed a blur spot in that eye and reading had been more difficult. I felt scared at this information, for there is glaucoma-induced blindness in my immediate family history. Now, what was originally a routine eye exam became the opening scene for a painful and frightening experience.

A week later, I was in the office of the ophthalmologist who had been referred by the insurance company. Test after test, my eyes were examined and compared to one another. After 3 hours of endless exams, the doctor came in to the room and announced:

“There appears to be retinal bleeding in your left eye. I am referring you to an eye specialist for further evaluation.”

Looking at this doctor through dilated eyes, I queried “I thought that was what you were?”
“You need to see a specialist in this type of eye condition” he answered as he typed out instructions on the computer.

Two days later, I was in the chair of the second eye specialist; eyes dilated, as is the norm for any eye exam. It was early afternoon, and I had been confident I would be done before dark, so I drove myself.

After two hours of tests, and waiting, and tests and waiting, the handsome doctor compassionately looked into my eyes;
“You need an injection in the eyeball to stop the bleeding”
Sitting bolt upright in the examination chair, I responded in disbelief
“I need a WHAT in my WHAT?”

Twenty minutes later, a device that felt like a super-sized magnifying class had been wedged into my eye socket and I was unable to close that eye. Because the eye was dilated, this was painful as the ceiling light bounced off my exposed eyeball.
This was followed by several layers of anesthesia swabbed onto the eye, and an ointment that felt like Vaseline.

Through blurred vision, I still saw the injection coming and held my breath, but only felt pressure.
“There, it’s done.” The doctor declared as his assistant put away the equipment and washed up.

Whew! Glad that’s over!”

But it wasn’t. It stung as if boiling chemicals were pulsating inside my eyeball.
I was free to leave, but first needed to get antibiotic drops for the eye. It seemed an eternity waiting for that 5 ounce bottle of liquid when all I desired was to attach an ice pack to my eye and go home.

Home was 27 miles away and it was then dusk. My eye stung and vision was distorted due to the dilated eyes. Car lights appeared as starbursts, and traffic signals appeared as long green and red ribbons that reached to the hood of my car.
“God, please help me to safely get home” I prayed the entire trip.

Raising my arms into the sky as I walked into my home, I blurted out: Phew, Thank you God! It really is over!
And it was. The injection did its job, the bleeding stopped, and the blur spot shrunk. Phew. Praise God!

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This article has been read 514 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Verna Mull 02/18/10
A good job, but I would suggest not using the second "Phew" That seemed a little much to me, and too close together. Just remember, that is only one persons opinion. Keep writing!
Donna Wolther02/18/10
Good job. You made me feel like I was there going through it myself. Phew is right. Thank God for the ending.
Marie Fink02/19/10
Praise God indeed. Thanks for this account of your eye troubles. For me, ignorance translates into fear, and this could be useful education for a less fearful future.
stanley Bednarz02/20/10
Love the title. Your word choice felt just right. You have an EYE for detail.

When we teach through writing, as we tell a dynamic story it adds more weight to ur words too. Just my opinion, and I'm so cheap it's free.
Carole Robishaw 02/22/10
I've tried driving with dilated eyes, and it IS a terrifying experience. I've also had cataract surgery, and watched while it was happening. So I was able to totally relate to this. Good job!
Mariane Holbrook 02/22/10
Not only a great whew but a great answer to prayer. One suggestion for an otherwise GREAT entry. You might want to preview it before you enter it, so you can even out the lines. I usually do that but this time I only had 3 minutes to deadline and I didn't have a chance. I don't know if it makes a difference in the judging but it does look better. Question: Why are you still in Beginners? You need to move up a bit, don't you think? :-)
Carol Penhorwood 02/22/10
Great story and so glad you had a good result. I, too, am wondering why you are in Beginners. Loved your title!
Kristi Peifer02/22/10
I love the line "I need a WHAT in my WHAT?" Too funny!

Your descriptions were great. I actually felt sick to my stomach when reading about the procedure. How's that for feeling like I'm there?
Jackie Wilson02/22/10
I was cringing the whole way through. You expressed very well the horror of having your eye messed with! Good story.
Ada Nett02/23/10
Good opening line, it drew me into the story to find out what was happening to the MC. I like happy endings. I am glad this circumstance ended well!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/23/10
While in nursing school, eye surgery was the one thing I couldn't stomach. You brought me right back to that operating room. I had chills with your description. Good job.
Sarah Elisabeth 02/23/10
Ack, I felt myself shrinking down in the chair with you as the injection came closer...then I realized I was only reading about it...PHEW!

Your writing continues to improve, keep it up!
Lollie Hofer02/23/10
The title was perfect for this story. Great descriptions, I felt your anguish.
Beth LaBuff 02/23/10
Clever title! You skillfully allowed your reader to experience this breath-taking event with you. Very good work!