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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Ohhh…. (02/04/10)

TITLE: The Creek People
By Linda Smock


Once upon a time there was a little town of people. If you went up the hill and down by the creek, you would see them. However when the sun would set they vanished.
One day I decided to visit the town. I went up the hill and down by the creek. There I saw three little girls and a little boy. They were only about five inches tall.
I heard one of the girls say, "Oh dear it's getting late!". I heard the other girl say, "Oh my we should be getting home". Then I heard the boy say, "Oh geewillickers! we haven't found any gold yet".
The last girl said, "Oh goodness, look over there!". In the creek was a huge gold shimmering rock. They all picked it up and put it in a wheel barrel.
"Oh my they all said we must go the sun is beginning to set.
Then I said "Wait don't go, I want to meet you. My name is Willy".
Oh, We are the "Oh People" said a small voice. Let me introduce myself, My name is "Oh Boy" and my three sisters are "Oh Girl", "Oh Gal", and "Oh My Lady". Nice to meet you Willy.
"I've seen you here at the creek before" said Willy. "Then you seem to vanish".
"Oh dear" said "Oh Boy it always happens that way".
Then I heard a strange sound like thunder, the sun set and they were all gone. Only the gold rock remained.
I went back the next day. Up the hill and down by the creek. I saw Oh Boy and his three sisters again.
"Hi Oh Boy" I said
"Oh Hi Willy", sorry we vanished yesterday. "Oh it's just terrible it happens everyday to us". "Oh that is why we have to get a gold rock".
I couldn't help but notice that Oh Boy always said "Oh" before each sentence.
"Why do you need a gold rock?" I asked.
Oh to keep the sun light in our hearts. If we bring a gold rock back to our home, we will have sunshine in our home forever and we will never vanish again.
When the sun sets we have tried to bring the rock back. However the sun always sets before we can do it.
"I could help you carry it to your home" said Willy.
"Oh really" said Oh Boy, let me tell the girls. Just then Oh Girl, Oh Gal and Oh My Lady came by.
"Oh ladies Willy is going to help get the gold rock home" said Oh Boy. "Oh me, Oh my" they all three said.
Willy looked and saw the gold rock where they had left it. "Now" said Willy, "Where is you home?".
"Oh" said Oh Boy, See that yellow flower by the edge of the creek? Our home is under that flower.
"Ok", Let's go! Willy picked up the gold rock. It was heavy but fit in his hand. Then he told Oh Boy, Oh Girl, Ih Gal and Oh My Lady to get in his other hand. They each had a finger of Willy's to hold onto.
Willy took five steps to reach their home. "No wonder you never made it back, it's a long way for you".
Oh Boy, Oh Girl, Oh Gal and Oh My Lady all carried the gold rock to their home, under the yellow flower ,by the edge of the creek.
All of the sudden I saw a brillant glowing light. I waited a moment, then a whole bunch of little people came out. All of them were smiling.
"Oh thank you", they all said. Now we have the sunlight in our hearts and in our home. We will never vanish when the sun sets ever again.
"You're welcome" I said not thinking much of what I did.
"Oh we have a special name for you" said Oh Boy. In honor of what you have done for us. We want to call you "Oh Brother".
"Thank you", I said just then I realized it was getting late. "Oh man, I really need to go home". "Oh no! it's happening to me". "Oh well I'll be back tomorrow bye".
"Oh bye" they all said.
I went up the creek and down by the hill and back to my home.
My mom asked "So Willy, how was your day today?".
Mom you would not believe it if I told you.
"Oh" my mom said. (words-715)

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This article has been read 290 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lisha Hunnicutt02/13/10
The story was amusing, but the word "Oh" seemed overused. It was distracting to me, and I felt that it didn't make sense in some places.
Verna Mull 02/14/10
Pretty far out for me, but cute in its own way!
Jan Ackerson 02/16/10
A cute children's story.

I agree with a previous commenter--perhaps a bit of overkill on the topic?

I see enormous potential in your writing; hope to read more in the coming weeks!