The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
The story was amusing, but the word "Oh" seemed overused. It was distracting to me, and I felt that it didn't make sense in some places.
02/14/10
Pretty far out for me, but cute in its own way!
02/16/10
A cute children's story.

I agree with a previous commenter--perhaps a bit of overkill on the topic?

I see enormous potential in your writing; hope to read more in the coming weeks!