The Official Writing Challenge
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02/11/10
Wow! That was courageous!
02/13/10
It WAS courageous, but did it pay off? Kind of left me wondering about a lot of things! Very interesting, just left too much to my imagination!
Great job!
02/15/10
Aww. This felt so honest, so real. I loved the MC, and her braveness stepping into the unknown. Well done!
02/15/10
I liked how you kept this piece moving, and I really related to the introvert part of your MC.

"I donít mind being an introvert, unless I have to meet new people" Loved that line!
This was a big move for a shy person! I enjoyed reading her thoughts. Maybe some dialogue to help break it up would have been nice. A great story!
Just a couple little things first- in the first sentence you used then instead of than and later your instead of you're, but those can be easily fixed.

You did a good job in bringing out the feelings of the MC. It was the start of a nice romance. Good job, keep writing.
02/16/10
Oh, it's so hard to take that chance... and so great when it works out! He was probably just as nervous as she was, I'm guessing. Great job!
02/16/10
Sweetly written.

There were some mechanical errors that need edits, and I wonder if you didn't telegraph your ending with your title.

I love your easy-going voice; it made for a very entertaining read.
02/17/10
This is a great story. Your description of the action is so fast-paced that I can just see it tumbling out of the MC's head. It might help to divide the paragraphs further so that all the action doesn't come at once. You were definitely courageous to "cross the boundaries" of friendship. :)
02/17/10
So sensitively felt and told. Your storytelling is silky smooth.

I think you would be surprised how much you could learn simply by re-writing this story a couple of times.

Vary and simplify sentences.

Commas and "what might be an even better word" work.
02/18/10
Congrats on your placing Tessy!