Everybody knows that puppies love their masters playing with them. A romp in the garden is the highlight of the day. A game of frisbee is recorded in our diaries as “The best fun I had all week!” Dashing through a wood scores eleven out of ten on 'The Best Things To Do With Your Owner' scale. Yet for some reason the puppy's enthusiam seems to go way down whenever it comes to training. The truth is, we're still very enthusiastic. It's just that you humans don't tell us what you want.
Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Jack, and I'm probably named so because I'm a Jack Russell Terrier. I was given to my owner for his eleventh birthday, and I have no complaints about being owned. Unlike you humans, we dogs love owners. This is my diary, and I'm going to let you take a peek at the entries that focus on the training sessions I had with my master, Matt.
Matt took me out to the field today. What fun! That's my favourite place. I can sprint to my heart's content and then I stop and turn around and sprint back, and if I'm lucky Matt picks me up and I slobber all over his face. Plus I occasionally spot a rabbit! I love it out there!!! Today didn't go that way though, which is odd. Most of the time in the field Matt just lets me do my thing, and sometimes he brings a ball or a frisbee which is great fun. I love speeding through the grass to chase a ball! But this time Matt wouldn't leave me alone. He kept on pushing me down into a sitting position, which I assume when I'm thinking, and I didn't have anything to think about! I told him that, but Matt didn't listen. He doesn't always. Very frustrating. Oh well, all will be clear. And if it isn't, I'll just chew up a newspaper.
Matt did the same thing again! There I was, excited, ready to go nosing about in the dirt. It had just rained, and I knew there were loads of smells out there. But Matt wouldn't let me. Again, he made me think, think, think. I didn't want to think! I wanted to play!! But oh no, Matt wanted me to think. To top it all off, he kept on saying something weird. “Skhit” or something like that. Eventually I got tired of it and nipped him a few times to tell him I'd had enough. Then we played. It was all very odd. What does he want? Oh, Matt's got supper ready. Stomach calls!!!
I'm gonna start biting that Matt! Tearing up his bedsheet! Chewing his school books! Using his best trainers as a toilet! That'll show him. He just won't stop. Again and again, he pushes my bum down and says “Skiht”. I had a chat with my friend Walter who lives in the big shiny thing. Whenever I go there, I see my friend who looks just like me! But for some odd reason, he doesn't have any smell, and he makes no noise when he chats. Whenever I try to play with him, I bump my nose on something hard. It's odd, and it annoys me a lot. However since I can't play with him, he and I often think together. Today we wondered whether maybe there's a connection between Matt saying “Skiht” and his pushing my bum down. It's unlikely, but I plan on giving it a go.
Walter was right! Matt got really excited and happy when he said “Skiht” and I sat down! He even gave me some biscuits!!! I've decided to continue sitting, so long as he keeps on giving me biscuits. Good old Walter. I tried to share a biscuit with him, but he already had one so I ate it instead. I'm so happy, and Matt is too. Yippeee!!!
And so that, humans, is what goes on in your puppy's mind when you try to train it. It's your own fault if we don't get it straight away, because you simply can't talk clearly. Just be patient. Hold it! What's that? Matt wants me. Oh no! He's calling “Barf”. When Matt says 'Barf' he doesn't mean Vomit. He wants to drown me!!! Er, excuse me, I've got some fleeing to do. Byeeee!!!!!!!
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