The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
02/12/10
A nice litle story. I did think that "red cherry candies" was stated too often. Perhaps could have used "the candy" or something that was a definate referrel to them, in some of the spots, especially in the first end of the article. Again, I say it was a great story, regardless!
02/16/10
I like the nostalgic feeling here.

I wonder if it'd be tighter without the first 2 paragraphs (since the person being addressed never becomes part of the story). Then you could add more narrative to the candy-stealing story.

Don't we all have a similar memory? Thanks for reminding us.