Hire
Writers
Editors
Home Tour About Read What's New Help Forums Join
My Account Login
Shop
Save
Support
E
Book
Store
Learn
About
Jesus
  

Win A Publishing Package HERE            

The HOME for Christian writers! The Home for Christian Writers!
The Official Writing Challenge

BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN

INSTRUCTIONS

how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level

ENTRIES

submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners



Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.





TRUST JESUS TODAY

TRY THE TEST



Share
how it works   Submit

Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Huh? (01/21/10)

TITLE: Madley1
By Patricia Blomeley-Maddigan
01/27/10


 LEAVE COMMENT ON ARTICLE
 SEND A PRIVATE COMMENT
 ADD TO MY FAVORITES

Alicia found herself bracing for the day, would it bring her closer to her dream? 
Did anyone actually see their dreams realized? 
 
Alicia began to talk to God speaking aloud.
Alicia had it all planned as far back as she could remember,
so she spoke clearly and loudly to God. 
As Alicia paused - ever so slightly -
to allow God to agree with her plan and get on with it, she heard a sound. 
 
"Lady", said the voice, "who are you talking to? 
 
"Huh?", she said, "What was that?". 
 
Alicia felt a tug on her sleeve, "Hey, Lady - why did you stop talking?".
 
"Huh?” Alicia frowned, " I didn't stop talking, you started talking at the same time as me. 
What do you want?  Who are you?”
 
The tug on Alicia's sleeve was tight.
Alicia spoke aloud again: "Child, what do you want?  I am very busy".
 
"Lady, how can you be busy talking to the sky? 
Do you have a friend up there?  Huh?!! Do you?"
 
Looking at the child, Alicia thought, did this child not know God?
That it was God hearing Alicia's plans?
And come to think of it, why had God not answered her yet?
 
“Lady - will you help me plant this tree?  It’s for my Mom to have a tree to sit under."
 
Alicia started looking for a chance to get away,
a chance to leave this odd little child,
a chance to get back to explaining to God how the big plan was going to work. 
 
Alicia saw a flash out of the corner of her eye,
heard the squeal of tires, the blast of a car horn. 
Where was that kid now?  Was she gone??
 
"Madam?  Did you hear me?  Is that your child?" 
The police officer was pointing to the centre of the right turn lane,
where a small hub of people were shielding that funny little child.
 
"Huh?" Alicia looked up into the officer's face:  "I mean, pardon Officer?
 
The officer repeated:  "Is that your child?"
Alicia felt her knees start to give way.  "No", she said, “she is not my child.".
 
Just then, the kid was back, all in one piece, and pulling on Alicia's sleeve again.
 
"Did you see me, Lady?  Did you see me try to give this little tree to my Mom? 
Huh, huh?? Did you see?!!"
 
Alicia frowned, and wondered what had brought her to this corner in the first place. 
She thought she had been making some sort of decision, but the details now escaped her.
 
The small hand tugging at Alicia's sleeve became more insistent.
 
"No, I did not see you try to give this little tree to your Mom.  Where is she?"
 
"My Mom is up in the sky with her friend, Jesus. 
When I saw you talking and looking up to the sky,
I thought maybe Jesus was your friend, too, and you were talking to Him.  Were you? Huh?”

“Grandma told me that Mom was talking to Jesus as she crossed this street,
and she did not hear the car coming.  She died, right there." 
The child was pointing to a spot on the road.  
The child asked again: "Was you talking to, Jesus?  Huh, Lady? 
I knew you didn't see me, that is why I grabbed your arm. 
I tried to grab my Mom's arm that other day,
but she was too busy talking to Jesus, to notice me.  She was kind of angry like." 
 
Alicia stood, motionless, looking at this child who had stepped into her path that day.
After a moment, Alicia realized her life had taken a turn. 
All that time she had spent telling God her plan,
trying to convince Him that she knew best,
He had gently swept down and placed His hand over them both - the woman, and the small child. 
 
Before answering the child, Alicia looked upwards, and gently said,
"Thank You, Lord, it was your plan all along, wasn't it?  Huh, huh? Wasn't it?"

And immediately, in the quiet of her heart came the Lord's gentle, "Yes".
 
Alicia reached down, took hold of the little hand, smiled at the child,
and asked:  "What's your favourite ice cream?”.


The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.


This article has been read 270 times
Member Comments
Member Date
AnneRene' Capp 01/29/10
"Oops", I meant to say, use double spacing between paragraphs. :)
AnneRene' Capp 01/29/10
Wow, I am getting a lesson on how leaving a coment works! I am assuming that if I make more then one comment, the second "replaces" the first.

Anyway, let's try this again. You are so right about walking in faith. It can be so very challenging for all of us when we begin to add "our" reasoning to His leading. You expressed what I believe, we all encounter at one time or another.

Remember to double space your paragraphs, as it makes it alot easier to read. :)
Jackie Wilson01/31/10
Enjoyed reading your story. The message was good, and very clear. Good job.
Jan Ackerson 02/01/10
I really like the idea of talking aloud to God.

Parts of your story left me saying 'huh?', though. Where were they, that she, a stranger, could take an unattended child for ice cream? Those sorts of details perplexed me. And I'm not sure that I understand your title.

Your story is strongly on topic and well-paced. You have tremendous potential.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 02/01/10
I get the sense that Alicia was planning on hurting herself that day. The child came to save her. If this is where you were going, it would make a powerful story. It has great potential, but I think the word length limited you. I hope you rewrite this story and fill it out some more. I think it is very beautiful.
Ruth Brown 02/02/10
God has a way of drawing us up short, and then we listen.