The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/30/10
The contrast between these two's points of view, and focus, is VERY clear. I'm sure there are quite a few marriages like this.
02/01/10
Very sad and telling commentary on a modern marriage.

A few suggestions: Separate paragraphs and increase the pacing by switching back and forth between prattling wife and too-busy husband.

Great little kicker at the end.
At first I felt badly for her, until I read it again. I guess they're both at fault here - very good writing by the way.
A nice job of showing how easy it is to not hear someone, even though you are listening.
02/02/10
I felt sorry for each of them. Neither spoke the other's love language.
Sad, but such a reality in so many families.
02/03/10
Common problem... Husbands and Wives are often tuned in to different frequencies! Nice story!