The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
01/28/10
Your title really caught my eye!

I really enjoyed the different personas you used. There were some very touching moments there.

I did notice the use of the word "choice" instead of "choose", but that's easily fixed.

Nice piece!
We do have a merciful, kind and loving Saviour and Lord. The high cost of His obedience to the Father, unto death on the cross, draws us to His daily mercies and kindness.
Thank you for your writing.
Blessings of more stories to tell for His glory and honour!
Very good message - and very well told. And like the others, it was the title that drew me in. Good job.
02/01/10
This is very creative and full of hope.
02/01/10
This was a blessing to read...He has a perfect plan for each of us! I needed that reminder today
Great title. Wonderful story. The power of the love of Jesus, and our choice in how we see ourselves came shining through in this well written story.
02/01/10
Beautiful message and very creative story. You took me where I did not expect to go!
02/01/10
This is SO lovely! What struck me the most is the idea that we don't always understand God's ways, which are so above our own.

It's creative & meaningful and, yes, the title is a fantastic 'draw'.

Well done!
02/01/10
A well written, inspired message. Lovely.
This was a wonderful story that covers so much of us as women. Very thought provoking and well done.
02/02/10
Sweet story. I've read that every part of a dandelion is edible. That little stubborn weed may one day feed the world. Blessings to you.
Loved this storyline and the way you told it. The creative angle was inspired - an inspirational as well. Great job!
02/03/10
Thanks for this lovely message. Dandelions are beautiful, too. Good job.
02/03/10
Very comforting and warm piece. Amazing, isn't it, how God's love expresses itself through us in creative writing? Thank you for letting God use you.
02/04/10
I'll never look at a dandelion the same way after I've read your story. Oh Lord, please make me a dandelion. You have a wonderful gift of expressing yourself. Well done!
02/04/10
so sweet! I am a weed lover... usually daisy's and honeysuckle, but Im adding dandilions to the list now! Thanks
02/04/10
Hey, your the first person to comment on my article, so I felt compelled to read something you wrote. I like your article. It's cool. Your writing flows nicely. And, thanks again for your comments.
Sometimes understanding Jesus requires us to be creative and open to what we hear! I truly enjoyed your story and the message of being a dandelion. I was reminded of a meditation on The Vine and the Branches. What kind of branch would we be? I was not a branch - the vision that came forth for me, was that I was sitting on a branch. Not active, but rather being supported by Jesus at a particularly rough time in my life - and it was the perfect vision; upon which I still draw. Did your story come from a life experience?
02/10/10
An inspirational God encounter that will bless millions! This should get wide coverage, do try for publication on this one, please! Bless you!
03/05/10
Loved this piece, from the Title to the end - absolutely refreshing, delightful and a very good point to be learned. One tiny typo Choice instead of choose...but a great piece of work. This story made my day! Thanks to you, God Bless you.
03/09/10

You've asked for serious red ink, so here goes. Your story is good and carries a strong message. Part of the problem in critiquing it is that you dreamed it and therefore probably don't feel able to change it. Yet dreams are by definition incoherent and they make much less sense to other people. In terms of being an entry for the challenge or submission for publication, it needs some serious editing.
Your title is catchy but too strong for your actual subject matter as it raises an unmet expectation in the reader. Somewhat like "why am I so weedy?" might have worked better.
You need to excise the entire section on your mother's spirit appearing to you. It doesn't add much if anything to your theme. It also distracts the reader from the image of yourself as a mother later on in the story.
The expression "I gave you perseverance and versatility" sounds unnatural. Better to write something like "When I forged you through fires of affliction, you didn't admit defeat. Instead you learned to keep on going; you discovered how to innovate and find novel solutions."
I really like what you have done with the various personas. If anything I would give them a bit more space to express themselves further.
Strictly speaking, the analogy "I am your rock" doesn't work when you're talking about a weed. Rocks are more like the enemy to small plants. It would have been better to use another Biblical image, to refer to Jesus as perhaps the gardener or the sower or the owner of the field.
Your ending is good and complements the despair of your opening paragraph.
08/09/10
Cute story. I liked the analogy in this piece. It does need a better title, though. Good work.
08/09/10
The title definitely made me curious. Wonderful message. Very nice.
08/13/10
I loved the symbolism of the dandilion.

I think sometimes the power of such an event becomes difused in our retelling of it and I'm beginning to think that's a little bit on purpose.

If everyone could know, and feel, and understand everyone else's 'mountaintop moments' there would be little use for the word 'faith'.

We've all heard the story of the parting sea, but do we have any idea of what it was really like to be there, running accross while the waters were parted? If we did, could we ever have cause to doubt our faith?

Beautiful. This reminds me of what He told me to my "Why" questions after being diagnosed. He's always faithful to see us through, even if it isn't the life we planned for ourselves.
I like this one! Dandelions may be ugly to some eyes, but my child-like heart has always liked them. Now I like picking them for my daughter to enjoy! :-)
03/04/12
I loved this article -- all of it, including the title! I think it is exactly the question that goes with the topic and which was answered in your piece. My Swiss colleague's father sent her a package of Dandelion seeds so that we could plant them in the mission grounds in Africa. He wanted to be sure she had the traditional Dandelion salad for Easter. Costly treat in a restaurant in Europe. Nicely written.