I gently laid the phone down and walked over to the window. It was amazing. I could still hear her screaming from across the room. I looked at the phone and for a minute I thought I saw it jump. Of course it was my imagination. I chuckled inside thankful that I was not that phone.
She had been going on in a tirade for about five minutes before I decided I had had enough. Words a hardened sailor wouldn’t dare speak entered what was a peaceful atmosphere invading my space. Rather than hang up on her, I simply distanced myself and walked across the room.
“Do you understand?” The voice bellowed. “How utterly stupid you all must be. Do you realize what you have done? I have had friends and family calling all day long. I’m telling you…”
I really didn’t understand because she kept saying the same thing over and over. Her hysteria wasn’t helping either.
I leaned against the wall peering out the window. This was not the first of this kind of call. I was the customer service manager of our local newspaper. We held to the highest standards of reporting and prided ourselves in offering a quality newspaper for our small community. “What’s this all about?” I wondered.
My thoughts were interrupted by the demanding voice.
“Hello? Hello! Are you listening?”
Reluctantly I made my way back to my desk and picked up the phone. “Yes?”
“I said, are you listening?”
“I am, but perhaps I could understand better if you spoke a little slower.”
“Do you have a copy of today’s paper that you idiots have already circulated?”
“Yes Ma’am, I do.”
“Well, get it and open up to the obits. Look for the name Sarah Collins.”
“You see it?”
“Well, you’re speaking to her.”
“I said, you’re speaking to her. I am Sarah Collins. I live at 28 Dover Lane. That is me you are reading about. Obviously, I am NOT DEAD!”
I was dumfounded. How could this have happened? What could I say to her to calm her down?
In disbelief I read, “Sarah Collins of 28 Dover Lane died unexpectedly at her home last evening. She was found on the living room floor by her daughter. It appears there was a bone stuck in her throat and she choked to death. Preparations for her burial are being planned by her long time friend Sophie. She will be laid to rest in her favorite place behind the family‘s house in the woods.”
I was speechless.
Taking opportunity to break the silence she threw in the last dagger. “You idiots! That was my dog that choked to death and Sophie was her name.”
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