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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Oops (01/14/10)

TITLE: The Biggest Ooops of All Times
By Mims Driscoll


“Who are those people?” I asked. His gaze was focused on the distance and a look in his eyes told me something was weighing heavily on his heart. As I thought about him and how we stood side by side, far off memories flashed before me, I had longed for this moment all my life. Trembling I reached out and pushed my hand into his and as my fingers got lost in the palm of his hand I felt what he felt. “Who are those people?” I asked again.

He turned his gaze to me and looked at me for a long time. Standing in that silence I was contained by it, I didn’t want to move a muscle. In the moments that past he was silently sharing himself with me, as I struggled to comprehend what was happening a bond grew between us in a way that I hadn’t anticipated. His eyes penetrated deep into my being and I gasped. That could have been me standing over there. That could have been me standing over there? That was what he was waiting for me to receive. That could have been me standing over. I let the truth of that moment sink into me and I shuddered as tears streamed down my face. I lowered my head but he would have none of that. He loosened my hold on his hand and wiped the tears from my eyes. I fell into him as sobs of remorse shook my frame. I could feel him take a deep breath as his lungs filling with air expanded his chest. I dared to look up. Tears streaming down his face fell upon my cheeks and our tears mingled as they fell to the ground. I took in as much I as I could but the fact that things could have been so different in this moment was heavily upon me. Although he was allowing the moment to have its full impact I could feel his compassion rising up as a balm upon my wounds.

I took a deep breath and released my hold so that I could talk to him. The words wouldn’t come to me. He was the one to break the silence. He knew full well that in his presence, in this moment… there were no words that I could speak. “You were wooed by me to something deeper. That is why you are not standing over there. You allowed my ways to become your ways and you allowed yourself to see things through my eyes. You saw that knowing me was far better than serving me and you gave me your heart so that we could love one another.” He paused. “You strongly considered those words that I spoke while I walked on the earth. That there were those that could serve me and yet when all would be said and done they would not be standing by my side. For in all their service they never chose to know My Father. They never chose to truly know me and to prefer me and my ways over their own. I gave those people my gifts and they took them and walked away from me. You took them and walked. You took them and walked with an eye always upon Me. In you I found a heart yearning to do only that which in the moment I was doing and in that my Kingdom was truly advanced.”

I knew that He knew how close I had come to that not being true and yet the way He looked at me showed nothing of those memories that were becoming fainter by the moment. It would have been the biggest ooops of all times. One that would have born it’s weight into eternity. It was only through His grace that had not been the case. I wanted to tell Him so but before I could He smiled and I knew that He knew.

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This article has been read 364 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Verna Mull 01/21/10
Not knowing Jesus would be the greatest "Oops" of all time. Expressed very well
Kristi Peifer01/21/10
Powerfully done.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 01/24/10
A great idea and very powerful story. It did take me a little too long to figure out to whom you were talking. Maybe it would help if you capitalized His pronouns. Be careful with your words you used past when I think you meant passed. But overall it is a very powerful story; one we should never forget. Great message. Keep up the good work. It really brought chills and made goosebumps pop out on my arm once the whole meaning sunk in.
Jan Ackerson 01/25/10
A nice allegory, and a good cautionary tale.

I'd suggest breaking up the longer paragraphs into more digestible chunks, and being more consistent with the capitalized prounoun 'He' so that it's apparent from the beginning that the second person is Jesus.

Well done!
Sarah Elisabeth 01/29/10
Congrats on placing 13th in Level 1 with your entry! Always tough competition on this level, so good job!You can check out the highest rankings each week on the forums: http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=28510