The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
01/21/10
Not knowing Jesus would be the greatest "Oops" of all time. Expressed very well
01/21/10
Powerfully done.
A great idea and very powerful story. It did take me a little too long to figure out to whom you were talking. Maybe it would help if you capitalized His pronouns. Be careful with your words you used past when I think you meant passed. But overall it is a very powerful story; one we should never forget. Great message. Keep up the good work. It really brought chills and made goosebumps pop out on my arm once the whole meaning sunk in.
01/25/10
A nice allegory, and a good cautionary tale.

I'd suggest breaking up the longer paragraphs into more digestible chunks, and being more consistent with the capitalized prounoun 'He' so that it's apparent from the beginning that the second person is Jesus.

Well done!
01/29/10
Congrats on placing 13th in Level 1 with your entry! Always tough competition on this level, so good job!You can check out the highest rankings each week on the forums: http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=28510