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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Ow! (01/07/10)

TITLE: Whimsey and Skiperdee
By bo Jennings
01/10/10


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"Ow!" Said Whimsey to Skiperdee, "You stepped on my toe and now, I can't see..." "Oh, so sorry," said Skiperdee, "But, your toe did grow beyond... The great Sea." "How could you be so clumsy, you OX?... I do declare you smell like a fox." "Oh my Dear," Said Skiperdee, "Your troubled beyond that which I see. But, be of good cheer, you, whimsy bird for damaged that's done clearly obtusely absurd.... For, your toe be bare and terribly long. Your nose be long and terribly bare... Had you'd covered your toe, my Dear, and dressed it quite fancily well, then, surely the toe not swone beyond that which Whimsey could bare... And, had it been dressed and covered, as well, your nose had known a fox; prey tell... And, as for your eyes, you whimsey whiney bird, well, your eyes don't plainly see. For, if opened once you silly dunce and glanced beyond your nose. You'd seen a star gliding quickly afar, then, you'd seen my love, Dear Whimsey," said Skiperdee. "Ow!" Said Whimsey to Skiperdee, The star that passed way far, has your love been lost, my Dear, passed with the light of that star?"


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This article has been read 316 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Lisha Hunnicutt01/14/10
This was hard to follow. I would suggest hitting enter and indenting for each new speaker. I think there are some fun words that would appeal to children, but it was hard to sort out.
Ruth Brown 01/17/10
This was a fun piece. I suggest you write it as a poem.
Never-the-less a darling whimsical piece. Keep it coming. Blessings, Ruth
Jan Ackerson 01/18/10
Yup, a change in the formatting is all this delightful poem needs!

I've started a class in the FaithWriters forums for Beginner and Intermediate writers. I'd love to see you there--look for "Jan's Writing Basics".