The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This was hard to follow. I would suggest hitting enter and indenting for each new speaker. I think there are some fun words that would appeal to children, but it was hard to sort out.
This was a fun piece. I suggest you write it as a poem.
Never-the-less a darling whimsical piece. Keep it coming. Blessings, Ruth
Yup, a change in the formatting is all this delightful poem needs!

I've started a class in the FaithWriters forums for Beginner and Intermediate writers. I'd love to see you there--look for "Jan's Writing Basics".