The Official Writing Challenge
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01/14/10
Great POV!
It will help to find someone to proof your writing for spelling and punctuation errors. (I have someone read mine everytime.)
Well done.Keep writing.
I agree with the previous comment. The point of view is interesting. The story brought tears to my eyes when Jesus looked at the girl and said He did it out of love for her. That's touching.
01/18/10
Creative POV, and a touching children's story.

Work on making your dialog flow more naturally, and this will flow more smoothly.

I've started a class in the FaithWriters forums for Beginner and Intermediate writers. I'd love to see you there--look for "Jan's Writing Basics".

This would make a nice Sunday School story for the Easter season.
01/18/10
"I do this out of love for you"! Very powerful statement! I, too, love this viewpoint. Some editing required but story line is great!