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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Ow! (01/07/10)

TITLE: Jesus Crucified
By Tina Poor
01/09/10


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Ruthie held onto her sisters hand as they followed thier parents to Jerusalem. As they drew closer to the city, they noticed a crowd at the gate.
“I wander what is going on? Ruthie asked her sister Hannah.
“I do not know.” Hannah answered, hanging onto her little sisters hand.
Ruthie huddled against her sister as they drew closer to the angry mob. She heard the people yelling. “Barabbas, we want Barabbas.” A moment later they shouted. “Crucify Him.”
“What are they talking about?” Ruthie asked tugging on her father’s hand.
Ruthie’s father kneeled down so he could look into her eyes. “I really do not know sweetheart, but let’s not worry about it, ok. It does not concern us.” He then looked up at Ruthie‘s mother. “Let’s go to another gate.
Ruthie followed in her father’s footsteps as he headed toward another gate. Leaving the crowd behind.
She thought on what the people said. “Crucify him.” She released her sister’s hand, and ran to catch up with her father.
When she caught up to her father, she grabbed his hand, drawing his attention “Father what does crucify mean?”
Ruthie’s father once again kneeled down to look into her inquisitive eyes. “It means to hang someone on a cross .”
“Who are they wanting to crucify?”
“Jesus, they are calling for him to be hung on the cross.”
“Why, What did he do wrong?”
“I do not know. Besides, it is none of our business.”
Ruthie opened her mouth to speak.
“No more questions. Now come along, I have things to do.”
Once inside the city Ruthie and her sister were allowed to play. They had decided to play hide and seek. Hannah hid her face and began to count, and as she counted Ruthie ran away to hide.
Ruthie found a tunnel and decided to hide in it. Once inside she heard an awful noise, she then crawled along the tunnel to check out the sound.
When Ruthie came to the end of the tunnel, she could not exit it due to the grates that covered the exit. Ruthie crawled up to the grate to look out, and see what was making the noise.
She searched around the area, and saw two men holding whips in their hands. The men were slinging the whips through the air. Ruthie froze as both whips landed on the man’s back. She sat there frozen as they beat the poor man several times.
Ruthie strained to look at the man’s face to see if she knew who He was. Once she caught a glimps she noticed that it was Jesus, they whipped. “Oh Jesus, why do they do this to you? I do not understand?” Ruthie could only sit there as the tears ran down her cheek.
Ruthie sat there remembering the time she sat on Jesus’ lap. She remembered him telling her stories of ancestors, like David from a long ago time. She wandered why they would hurt such a nice man
Ruthie crawled out of the tunnel, after they had carried Jesus away. Once outside the tunnel she walked to where she had left her sister. When she found that her sister was not there, she went in search of her.
During her search she found herself being pulled along with a crowd. She was unable to free herself.
She was trembling and scared when she was finely free. She looked around for her parents, but saw a man carrying a cross instead Jesus walking at his side.
Ruthie followed at a distance, she should find her parents, but could not seem to leave Jesus.
She watched as they laid the cross upon the ground, then slung Jesus upon it. Ruthie cried out in sympathy to his pain. She continued to stand there in horror as they nailed Jesus to the cross.
Ruthie watched tears streaming down her face, as they raised the cross so everyone could see Jesus hanging there.
She looked up at Jesus’ face, and saw Him smile at her. As she looked up at him she heard a voice in side her head. “Do not worry little one. I do this out of love for you.” She could not help the smile that formed on her lips.
Ruthie stood there for awhile just looking at Jesus. She jumped when someone placed their hand upon her shoulder. Tears flowing down her cheeks as she looked into the eyes of her father. “He never even said ow!”


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This article has been read 315 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Yvonne Blake 01/14/10
Great POV!
It will help to find someone to proof your writing for spelling and punctuation errors. (I have someone read mine everytime.)
Well done.Keep writing.
Lisha Hunnicutt01/14/10
I agree with the previous comment. The point of view is interesting. The story brought tears to my eyes when Jesus looked at the girl and said He did it out of love for her. That's touching.
Jan Ackerson 01/18/10
Creative POV, and a touching children's story.

Work on making your dialog flow more naturally, and this will flow more smoothly.

I've started a class in the FaithWriters forums for Beginner and Intermediate writers. I'd love to see you there--look for "Jan's Writing Basics".

This would make a nice Sunday School story for the Easter season.
Carol Penhorwood 01/18/10
"I do this out of love for you"! Very powerful statement! I, too, love this viewpoint. Some editing required but story line is great!