The Official Writing Challenge
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01/14/10
OW!!!That was strong chastisement from the Lord. How comforting to think He will arrange such circumstances just to get us to wake up if and when the need arises. Good story line and well thought out.
01/15/10
Ow is right! You conveyed the emotion very well. I could feel the manager's humiliation.
01/15/10
Well, I guess it could have been me. Nice writing.
01/17/10
The title of this article caught my attention 'cause it sounds like something I would say. :) I love how you showed the hand of God in bringing the bitter employer and her victimized employees together unbenownst to them. Just like a sovereign act of God to show us our true selves and help us to change! An enjoyable and meaningful read.
01/18/10
A very Ow! situation, indeed! Great job with the topic.

Be sure that your dialog is realistic, and it's helpful to put thoughts in italics.

I've started a class in the FaithWriters forums for Beginner and Intermediate writers. I'd love to see you there--look for "Jan's Writing Basics".

This is one that we all need to take to heart.
01/18/10
I've been there: mistakes and blaming! A challenging story and a conscience stirring one. Thanks. Colin
Conflict and resolution -- you have expressed it well. Good writing.
01/19/10
I'm impressed! Having just come from Jan's class, I was hit right away in your first paragraphs with some "salsa" words...burned, stinging, cretins, drooped, coaxed, rifling (At least, I THINK so!!)
01/20/10
Whew, what a message! Excellent storyline. If only we all could over hear conversations like that.

The formatting made it a bit difficult to read in places (ie when your characters were speaking), but that is an easily corrected issue.

Right on topic with "Ow!"
01/20/10
Good piece. I agree that this is something we can all use from time to time.
A little work on showing the actions, by being separated from the speech, not part of it, would really make this a winner.
I still struggle with the concept of showing not telling :}
You have a good story line and well written resolution.
The message comes through loud and clear.
01/26/10
So very true, I have said things that I so regretted and wish I could turn things around. Being a Christian certainly should make you think before you speak. This is well written, and the point comes across loud and clear - Ow