Hostility burned in her, how dare they. What have I ever done to get such a stinging review. I told the truth. Why flatter a bunch of cretins?
Coffee good and strong that's what I need. Jane pulled her ball cap low over her eyes, faded jeans, sweatshirt and Nikes completed her look. Someone here might recognize her, a chance she took only for the comfort of her favorite coffee. Pulling dark glasses from her purse she finished her deception. Brooding all night had not improved her looks or her mood. Frizzy hair poked from her cap and dark bags drooped under her eyes. She coaxed the heavy door open and headed for the counter.
Hugging the grande dark roast she sought a solitary window booth. Rifling through her bag she finally found her beloved journal and pen. Writing, her escape from reality, called her to pour her frustration onto the page...
Two young women, one with raven black hair and swollen eyes, the other a tall blonde, took the booth behind her unnoticed.
“Sniff sniff, then she told them I wasn't at my desk. She knew why I was gone. I had a good reason. She just kept saying I had left. I thought she was my friend, her red rimmed eyes filling once more. If she would have explained, I know I would still have a job.”
“You're right, Shari. She used to be the best supervisor on our floor. When her husband left her she turned bitter and mean. She doesn't care about any of us now,” the blonde twirled her hair and sighed.
“I know. You'd think being a Christian she could have handled it with God's help, I don't see it though,” she shook her head.
“Gulp, hmm it's still too hot to drink. Anyway I remember when she first came she was so kind to us. She told us she was here because this is where God wanted her to be. Tina, how could she do a complete 180 on us?”
“I don't know, Shari, I loved her, wanted to be just like her, maybe explore the Bible and learn about God. I don't see the fire or the glow anymore.”
“Yeah is that what happens when hard times come? Do they all just turn there backs on God?”
“Who needs that kind of faith?”Tina frowned and sipped her latte.
Jane lowered her head to her hands, she had heard and felt every shameful word the girls spoke. “Ow! Lord that cut me to my soul,she clutched her heart, yet it's all true. What have I become? Those are two of my employees. You brought me here this morning didn't you Lord? It was preordained to bring me face to face with my evil self. Lord I am so ashamed.”
Jane rose and fled the coffee shop never looking at the booth behind her. She was just through the door when her carefully constructed wall of bitterness and hate disintegrated and the flood of painful then cleansing tears came. She stumbled to a bench by the river walk and sat recounting the day Shari had to leave because her child had been injured at school. She had temporarily forgotten, and when the report wasn't filed, she had blamed Shari instead of stepping up as a real manager should. Oh Lord, I pray I can fix that.
No wonder I scored such a bad review and stern warning. I deserved it. I've become a blamer, not willing to acknowledge my own mistakes and laying it all on someone else. Oh Lord, Please forgive me. Jack blamed me for all his problems and I hated him for it. I am guilty of the very same thing. Please Father, I beg you to help me rectify the messes I've made.
Jane wiped her eyes, blew her nose and prayed for guidance as she jogged back, and hoped the girls were still at the coffee shop.
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