The Official Writing Challenge
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01/15/10
Amusing and cute - very enjoyable indeed! Thanks - Colin
01/15/10
I loved this story. The irony that the boy's name was Moses was a little over the top but I really liked it.
01/16/10
Awesome story! I especially loved the Old Testament pleas to God...very entertaining dialog. Beginner???
So amusing. I felt as if I were sitting in the bus. This is one of the best entries I have read this week.
01/18/10
Clever and witty--loved your MC's inner voice. Could you put it in italics to make it clearer when she's thinking? (see the forums FAQ for instructions on doing italics in HTML).

I've started a class in the FaithWriters forums for Beginner and Intermediate writers. I'd love to see you there--look for "Jan's Writing Basics".

You're an extremely promising writer!
01/21/10
Wow!!! First place in level and an Editor's Choice on your first time out!!! Awesome!!! Congratulations!!! I thoroughly enjoyed your story!!!
01/21/10
Congratulations on your win Lisa! Such lovely humour in this, I really enjoyed it
01/21/10
Congratulation and your 1st place! It is so very well deserved! I thoroughly enjoyed this believable story. I wish it would have continued!
01/21/10
I really enjoyed this story, it was so believable! Good job and congratulations on your win!
01/21/10
This came across very realistic! Excellent dialog and inner dialog. If you leave spaces between paragraphs it will be easier to read. I look forward to reading more of your writing!
01/21/10
What a great entry! Congratulations on your EC.
I really enjoyed your story--I loved your main character and her thoughts and the way her problem was taken care of.
(Your story will be easier to read if you'll put a space between paragraphs.)

You show great promise as a writer. Congratulations on your EC.
Wow, this was funny and really interesting. I like how her deliverer was called Mo, Moses. Very funny :)
01/23/10
Wow!! This is great! I totally understand why you placed like you did. Congratulations and I look forward to reading more of your writing! :) (I think I'll have to read this to my daughter. She'll get a kick out of it. :))
01/24/10
Thanks to everyone! What a nice welcome to the community.
01/25/10
This is such a cute story! I like how the new kid stands up to the hot-shot school bully! His name being Moses was perfect, especially the way Lauren had been praying. Excellent writing!
01/26/10
Like this story line. First thing I thought of was dare to be "uncommon", which is something that needs to be taught to kids, because most of them just follow the leader to get along and with a little help or mentoring could really be that other person. Love the name Lauren also.