Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Ow! (01/07/10)
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TITLE: The Levels of Ow! | Previous Challenge Entry
By pat holtman
01/08/10 -
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Hearing the word “ ow” brings to mind some type of pain or discomfort. In the past two days I have experienced at least three levels of ow. These levels range from irritating to aggravating to almost debilitating. The first level came from fiberglass splinters deposited by cafeteria trays I handle in the course of my job. Though the splinters are microscopic, they are irritating because they cause discomfort I cannot see them to remove them and relieve the discomfort.
The second level of ow came in the lab at the doctor’s office. I had to have blood drawn. As the needle pierced my skin and then probed my vein, I felt a short sharp pain, then a strong dull pressure. The combination of the two brought tears to my eyes. Again, the pain was only temporary, its duration controlled by the phlebotomist, yet inside I was crying “ooooooowwwww!”
I experienced the third level of ow after walking a long distance in the snow. The uneven terrain caused my previously injured hip to move out of alignment and the frigid temperatures caused my aging knee joints to ache. After eleven hours on my feet at work I was moaning “ow” with almost every step. I was in control of relief for these aches. I took some over the counter pain reliever and went to bed.
These were my three levels of ow, irritation from invisible splinters, aggravation from a sharp needle, and debilitating aches from injury and age. Though all were uncomfortable, they were only temporary. Though it may seem to be of insignificant benefit it helped to be able to voice “ow, ooooowww, or ow, ow, ow.”
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I was thinking that you'd end with a life application of some sort. And for your readers' sake, an extra space between paragraphs would be great.
I've started a class in the FaithWriters forums for Beginner and Intermediate writers. I'd love to see you there--look for "Jan's Writing Basics".
Keep writing--this is good!