The Official Writing Challenge
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01/14/10
HaHa! Talk about an awkward and humbling experience for Mr. Miller! :) Maybe an "ow" to his ego. ;)
01/14/10
Except for the one tiny oops (no second "R" in Prostate) this is very clever and fits the topic perfectly. Made me chuckle. Good job!
I bet Mr. Miller will think twice about his actions next time he's in a line waiting! This was a good one.
01/14/10
HA! Great ending! An easy read with great dialogue. Thanks!
01/15/10
Good job! This flows very smoothly. Loved the ending - one might say it is poetic justice. :)
01/16/10
What a great lesson, AND, a good laugh. Great imagination! (Much better than reading owl, for ow!, which is what I did. Hope that is my last laugh!
01/18/10
Ow! is right! I cringed all the was through this--the effect you intended, I think.

Take a look at the number of times you write that a character "was ______ing". Try to vary your sentence structure a bit for a less choppy read.

I've started a class in the FaithWriters forums for Beginner and Intermediate writers. I'd love to see you there--look for "Jan's Writing Basics".

This is the best "on topic" piece I've read so far!
Thoroughly enjoyed this and even lol'ed :)
01/20/10
This is great. And what an ending. One big Ow!
01/23/10
Ha ha!!! I loved it. Very much poetic justice. :)
08/16/11
It's a little after midnight, and this really made me laugh! I needed that! And patience is one of my better virtues! Thank God HE blessed me with patience!