The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
12/11/09
Oh, I'm glad you wrote it so that the family would be coming soon!

There's a lot of "telling" here, but not so much "showing." Help us to know her better by putting in sensory details and letting us eavesdrop in on her thoughts.

Nicely written--keep up the good work!
I agree - this is very nicely written. You create a feeling of family Christmas that the reader can experience.