Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Brown (11/26/09)
TITLE: A Brown Chestnut
By Nicoletta Zampini
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As Rosa begins walking in the park, she notices a brown chestnut. She picks it up and flings it in the air and catches it. She does it again. Higher this time. She feels some freedom. Something Rosa really longs to feel. A freedom with God, her destiny, people, and, life. She decides to go to the water where she sees ducks in the lake and she smiles at them while she flings the chestnut in the air and catches it again. She says to the ducks: "please don't be afraid, I am just being playful with myself and you." The ducks did not seem to mind.
She continues walking and keeps the brown chestnut in hand. Her endless desire to be free from the bondage of her fears is always there. She asks God: "God, I know I am where I am suppose to be in my walk with You in this life, and, though I want to do Your will, could I just simply laugh at this place I am at in life. She hears God say: "yes" and she feels Him warmly smiling. She says: "thank You God and begins to laugh, while throwing up the chestnut high in the air and catching it. She sees people and does not want to worry about what they think. She talks to herself and says, "if they think you are crazy, so be it and God bless them and me."
As she continues walking, Rosa says to God: "God, I cannot figure this all out. Though You said You would heal me and bring me the right spouse, good friendships that resemble a Godly family, and, a vocation that is in alignment with Your will for me, I seem to be walking a very tiresome long valley. Though I see the beauty, I feel I don't really fit in this world. I don't feel sustained enough. I long for love and genuine friendships in others. The right people. Though You are number one, my walk these days feels very hard. I feel very alone and bottomed out. I wish I had a helping hand. The needier I am, the scarier and more vulnerable I feel with others. I don't seem to operate like the average person. My life is different and I know You want me to trust in You, and though I do, I am frightened. I feel like I am riding in limbo. I am exhausted and don't know how much more I can take. I feel like I need more and I am carrying this cross to the best of my ability, but, Lord, I cry out to You for a complete healing of my bondage. I need You. I want You and I want to be free. Thy will be done."
Rosa hears God say to her: "I am with you. Just be." Everything is being worked out and I am carrying you and guiding you." Rosa replies, I know I need to trust this process, but, Your ways are different. I feel useless and without purpose, yet, in my heart, spirit, and, soul connected to You, I know this is not true. I am totally dependent on You and working with You to the best of my ability."
Rosa keeps walking holding the brown chestnut in her hand lovingly. One foot in front of the other. One mental, emotional, spiritual step at a time. She says to herself and to God: "today is a gift and if it is my last day, she says laughing, what a ride it has been! And, with love, God bless us all!"
As she walks towards her front door at home, a bright shining star that she saw at the park was in front of her house in the sky. Though she has doubts and questions her sanity, she knows in her heart, this is a gift from God, saying, "I am here. You are safe. All is well and as it needs to be."
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