The Official Writing Challenge
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I appreciated your candor. This had some good elements and pulled together could make a good entry. The paragraph about your 'male friend' followed by the introduction of your Mum needed a smoother transition. I loved the 'grudges, niggles and buttons', but what is a 'niggle'. This was fun and I can tell you have a sense of humor, you might consider developing. I did get confused when it seems you were the one thrown to the west...when the Lord throws out the garbage {sins}, he never discards us with it. You don't have to work your way back. The last few lines to me depicted a Jesus kind of bell boy waiting to carry our bags. Mt. 11:30 is more about us conjoined with Christ, that we take His lighter burden learning as we do to be more like Him. I believe you have potential and I hope you don't mind if I mettle in your gift. Keep writing.
08/29/05
Some really nice ideas here :) A good lesson -especially about the buttons that family knows how to push better than anyone else!
"When I used to go and visit my Mum, I would take all my memories. The happy ones and the sad ones. I would also pack all my grudges, niggles, and especially the buttons that I take with me for her to push." Ouch! The whole piece was very insightful. You mangaged to get your point across in a fun and light way which is great and more likely to be heeded by the reader. Some really great thougts. I enjoyed it.