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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Orange (the color) (11/19/09)

TITLE: Orange Sherbet
By Amanda Lynch
11/23/09


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Hope sat looking in the mirror. She was examining every part of herself. Her eyes looked like her Mommy's. Her hair was the same brown as her Daddy's. She was pretty sure she had heard people say that Kevin looked just like her when he was angry. After further inspection, she had decided, it couldn't be true. There had to be a mistake.

She walked down the stairs, her feet as heavy as an elephant's. Her footsteps were pounding as loud as her heart. She walked into the kitchen and sat at the counter. As she watched her parents finish the dinner dishes, she idly grabbed a grape and popped it into her mouth.

“So I've been thinking about all this,” she said, her voice cracking slightly. “And I wondered, does this mean Kevin is more yours than I am?”

Her mom and dad stopped. Her dad set down the cup he was drying and walked over to her. He sat down next to her and pulled her onto his lap. It felt so warm and safe to be in his arms.

“Oh, baby,” he said. “Have you been up there thinking about that all this time?”

Earlier in the day, seven year old Hope had learned she was adopted. All day, she had studied her family, trying to figure out ways she didn't belong. The thing was, she seemed to blend right in.

“I guess,”she admitted. “Kevin, he's YOURS. I remember you bringing him home. You talked to him even when he was still in Mommy's tummy. But me, I'm somebody else's. You didn't sing to me before I was born. You just took me because somebody else didn't want me.”

Her Daddy held her tighter. “Hope,” he said. “How would you feel if I said that we could have some of the vanilla ice cream from the freezer downstairs?”

“I guess that sounds good,” Hope sighed. She could tell the conversation had ended. He was trying to make her feel better.

“Okay, now how would you feel if I said we could go to Baskin Robbins and you could get some Orange Sherbet?”

Hope's eyes lit up! Orange Sherbet was her favorite. Vanilla was fine, but Orange Sherbet was worth the wait. She didn't even care that her Daddy was changing the subject now.

“Yum!” She said, dismounting his lap.

“Hey, wait a minute, Hopie Hops A-Lot,” Daddy pulled her back to his lap. “I'm not done yet. Now, before you came to our house, we had waited a long time for you. We had prayed for a baby. We cried and dreamed and knew that there was someone out there who would make our family better. We asked God for YOU.”

Her Mommy was standing next to her Daddy now, with a smile on her lips and a tear in her eye. She placed her hand on Daddy's strong shoulder. “Finally, we heard about a sweet little girl who needed a home. We couldn't wait to meet you. When we held you for the first time, we knew it. You were worth the wait. You were our baby. You're OURS, Hopie. You made me a daddy and Mom a mommy. Hope, we couldn't have asked for a better baby than you. You're the Orange Sherbet and you were worth the wait!”

Hope felt better, but she didn't let on yet. She looked up at her Daddy with the big, brown eyes that everyone said looked just like his and said, “That's a great story Daddy, but I think I'll understand better after I eat that Orange Sherbet!”


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This article has been read 360 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Sharon Laughter 11/28/09
Excellent descriptions and use of words. You captured the emotions wonderfully. However, it seemed the ending "snapped" too quickly in light of her turmoil. I loved your use of Dad's "have you been up there all this time"; an exceptional way to convey so much.
Kate Oliver Webb11/30/09
Such a good story! I feel that the handling of Hopie's worries was in the right measure at that time, and that in this family, more will come out at the appropriate time. It just had a good feeling about it, to me.
Colin Swann12/01/09
I loved this story. We have a son who came to us in this way. Very meaningful piece.
Colin
Sarah Elisabeth 12/01/09
Aw, sweet stuff! If this is just your first shot at fiction, I say keep going ;-)
Jan Ackerson 12/02/09
Very nicely done, especially for a first attempt at fiction.

And on a personal note, I have to thank you for not spelling it sherbeRt--one of my pet peeves!
Virgil Youngblood 12/02/09
A fun read. You have created believable characters with good tension and a good ending. Looking forward to your next entry.
Eileen Knowles12/02/09
Wow...this is your first attempt at fiction? Excellent job.