The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
Your story kept me captivated. However, the ending sentance seemed out of place. Why would Jerry call the yellow line treacherous, when it was the fault of Carrie for falling asleep at the wheel?
11/22/09
nice story. It kept my interest through the whole thing.
11/22/09
This was a captivating story. It kept my interest throughout. You might want to consider deleting the last sentence of your story. I think the fact that the paramedics checked on her prognosis was a perfect ending.