The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
11/06/09
I like the contrast of complete darkness then the brighest white. It spoke clearly of life and death wihtout you using those words. Clever.
I related to the feelings and fightings in your story immediately. Praise God for the power of His Word!
At first I thought the MC was going through drug rehab
One note:
The last paragraph could have been space out - new line for every line of dialogue? Last sentence on its own? Just a thought.
This felt like a person in deep depression. I have been there and know that Jesus is the only one that can lead us out of it. I really liked the part about "feeling His breath" awesome thought!
11/09/09
I liked this a lot. Not sure if it's a metaphor for sin, maybe depression, maybe just a lovely allegory, but regardless, it's well done and a lovely read.
I, too, think it is about depression. EVen though it is not yet over, you knew God was walking beside you.
11/11/09
I am glad to hear you are a survivor. I too picked up on a depressed mood; however, none of us know how we would react if we were facing the same thing. Your story needs to be separated by double space for paragraphs. If you copy and paste your story from a program, often it won't separate the paragraphs, so be sure to check that out. You can add them accordingly. Laura
11/11/09
Your message of Christ's presence was very touching. Beautiful and hope-filled writing!