The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
Interesting story, yet I felt like it ended too soon. What about the flash of white light?
11/07/09
Very intriguing story from the beginning to the end. I'm assuming the flash of white light was that of whatever exploded around him. Your story did seem a little rushed towards the end, but we are limited to a certain number of years. Although it is hard to think of what goes on in war, I think you did an excellent job conveying this scene to us. Was this a personal event? Good job.
11/08/09
nicely portrayed slice of life in the ME. the confusion from being wounded was real. the fear of dying, well written. i agree with the previous comment, though. it ended without resolution and left too many questions open. but, overall, well done.
11/09/09
You described pain and devastation in war in a creative way, perhaps from experience, but either way, it held my interest. Keep writing.