“Does this look green to you,” she asked, shoving her mucus filled tissue in my face?
It’s like driving past a car accident on the road; you know you should just keep moving as quickly and safely as possible, but you just have to take a quick look at the mangled cars. I averted my eyes as quickly as I could, but the image of that slime filled tissue was permanently burned into my retinas. With some effort to keep what little oatmeal I had for breakfast down, I replied, “I’m not sure.”
A little downcast she walks over to Tom and asks, “Does this look green to you?”
I over hear him say something involving hues of yellow and green. Still not satisfied in having nauseated two people, she moves on down the hall. Tom looks over at me and rolls his eyes. Walking over, he says, “Do I look like the company nurse?”
“No,” I said, “it is just that as the company’s biggest Green Bay Fan, she just figured you would know green when you saw it.” Now Tom rolls his eyes at me.
He said, “Why is it that when some people get sick, not only do they bring it to work, but they want to share it with the rest of the office?”
Being the company’s self appointed smart alec (smart alecs are always self appointed or hadn’t you noticed), I replied, “I’m not a psychiatrist, but I’ve seen them on TV and that woman could use about four and three quarter days in a padded green room.”
“Oops, look out here she comes again,” Tom says, shoving me into Bill Green’s office.
“What’s up guys,” Bill said turning from his computer screen?
I burst out, “Save us, we’re being stalked by a yellow and green blob that will knock us down and lay waste to the rest of the office.”
“Is she still asking people if that tissue looks green,” Bill asked with the disheartened look that comes from years of giving people advice, only to have them ignore it?
“Yah,” I said, “she caught me and Tom in the hall.
Shaking his head, Bill says, “I told her, if she’s concerned about her dog she should take him to the vet.”
“Her dog, her dog, she’s carrying around a dog’s snot rag,” I cried. We laughed so hard I thought green snot would start shooting out of all our noses. After a few minutes of calling doctor Doberman and bark if it hurts here, Bill points to the door. As I was walking out, I throw over my shoulder, “I wonder if the dog thought it looked green?”
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