The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 496 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
11/01/09
It is obvious you put a great deal of thought into this story. It would be much easier to read if you would double space between paragraphs. Also, there is so much description in your story that it distracted me.
11/02/09
Many words and no space between paragraphs were perfect for this piece because of the feeling of drowning I got as I began reading. And it is what we do when our focus is off kilter like the person's in your story. Funny, when God gets our attention and we refocus our efforts, we can do the same things with renewed outlooks and Glory to Him and it's all different and better. Good work.