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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Green (10/22/09)
I am the oldest of three girls. Bless my poor mother who had to handle that challenge! Raised in a broken home I was the stand-in mother between divorces or while Mom was working. My two sisters were my life. I walked them to school, fixed their meals, helped with homework and loved them as if they were my own. Even now I am the mother hen! The desperation I felt for years when we separated, hurts even now. Emptiness is a wound that will never completely heal. We have our own families and lives now that has created a gap in our existence.

I am blessed with a wonderful husband, three happy children, two loving dogs and a sassy cat. My days are filled with mountains of paperwork and coordinating cases with long hours in the day. Running a business and chasing after renters are not far behind. If that were not enough, we are remodeling a home so that our family can grow comfortably. My husband is gone working which leads me to pray for the root of all evil. Chasing the all mighty green dollar to provide a stability for our family and buying more time. I am on a Wellness committee, Christmas committee, Girl Scout leader and volunteer for the Red Cross. What am I trying to prove?

The second to the oldest has a struggling soul. Her body out of shape and her mind warped with a cruel world’s diseases. Every day is a struggle to run from the voices, burn herself for feeling or chase someone for attention. She is always a jealous one; always green with envy. When those coping measures do not work an overdose is required followed by intense treatment that starts the cycle over. How I long for the days of the sparkling girl with a beautiful tan. Riding our bikes through town we would race to the swimming pool laughing and teasing each other. What happened to that spark of life? If only you knew how I hold back the tears every time I look into your eyes that are empty inside. Someday I promise I will reach you again.

The youngest of us three. She has started a family of her own. We keep in touch but it is never enough. Technology is a blessing for the ease of communication and an evil to the social capabilities. We may talk but only in text. One simple line can be mistaken causing either a rage of red or a sickness of green. Every day I think back to the long nights of chit chat when we were supposed to be in bed. We had our whole future planned out of how we would not make the mistakes our mother did and we would provide a better life for our kids. Some days we find that it is easy and other days bring on sadness or questions. We question the life we should have had and wonder why we didn’t. The patterns stop with us and faith provides our strength as mothers, wives and community members. Bless the girls who look at their auntie with the same love and adoration their mother had for me.

As the green fades into brown and reds the leaves are falling steadily. I look out the window wishing for the days of my sisters and I at the pool. The wind is chilling my bones and the regrets are filling my heart. We have drifted apart and moved away. The thoughts creep in of what happened to us. God feels the pain and sheds a light by the giggles and stomping of three blessings home from school. They warm the place that is empty inside and reminds me of a promise so long ago. A loving and happy mother three sisters promised to be. I welcome them with open arms and we snuggle on the couch for a cup of cocoa and our favorite story Green Eggs and Ham.

Hugs and high fives are given before they run away to play forgetting the cups left behind. My eyes wander to the phone across the room, hurriedly I make phone calls to my sisters. Thanking them for being just who they are as they laugh wondering what has gotten into me. Sending messages of love and wishful thoughts of togetherness we discuss what has been happening in our busy days. Plans are made for the upcoming events of holiday bustle, dinners, green wreaths and tinsel.
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This article has been read 668 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Ruth Brown
10/30/09
Caring,thoughtful,heartfelt,
sister thoughts.I felt it. Well done.
Marie Fink
11/01/09
This touches on deep emotional levels we all ponder over at times. I think many readers would identify with wanting to change the past and yet embracing it at the same time. Good job.