The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/30/09
Leave off the "at" at the end of your sentence in the third paragraph. It is not needed.

Great story. You reeled me in and made me curious about where you were headed.

I think the story could have done without the last paragraph. For me, it would have been good to just trail it off at the end of the previous paragraph when the doctor leaves...
10/31/09
This is a very touching story of what a strong abiding love could possibly do for someone. Good job.
11/01/09
good story of what people have said they experienced after accidents or other traumas. well developed. great dialogue. nicely done.