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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Green (10/22/09)

TITLE: memories!
By darlene carroll
10/23/09


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I had not been here in many years. The road ahead would take me to my old home place. I could not believe my eyes. There it stood in all it's majesty. The little picket fence was barely standing. There next tot he well is where my little bannie rooster would welcome each day. With a brush of my arm, i cleared the cob webs from the front door entrance. There was the kitchen just ahead. As I entered the room, my eyes were drawn to the spot where the green kitchen table had stood. My thoughts went back to those childhood days.
I could almost hear the sizzling of the fresh bacon mixed with the aroma of mothers fresh baked biscuits. We would all gather at the kitchen table, holding hands and praying. But, along with the good does come the bad. For this is where Billy had lost his life at a very tender age. Oh! those by gone days of yester year.


(10/23/2009)


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Member Comments
Member Date
Mark Bell10/30/09
good clear pictures. could have had much more development, a specific memory perhaps, or more about what made the green table so special, etc. i see potential here. this was good. Keep writing!
Marie Fink10/31/09
I see nothing tragic in your memories, written clearly and concisely, but then all of a sudden someone had died in the home. That certainly was tragic and leaves the reader at least wondering why it's just a statement of fact, if it was a seizure, a drowning, an illness, or a beating. With concise writing such as this you didn't need a much longer story, but a few more details would have been helpful.