The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/30/09
good clear pictures. could have had much more development, a specific memory perhaps, or more about what made the green table so special, etc. i see potential here. this was good. Keep writing!
10/31/09
I see nothing tragic in your memories, written clearly and concisely, but then all of a sudden someone had died in the home. That certainly was tragic and leaves the reader at least wondering why it's just a statement of fact, if it was a seizure, a drowning, an illness, or a beating. With concise writing such as this you didn't need a much longer story, but a few more details would have been helpful.