The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/27/09
This is simply and utterly delightful!

My only (teensy) suggestion would be to elminate the long rows of arrows for just three asterisks, far less distracting.

I hope this one does well--I loved it.
10/27/09
Sounds like a typical family happening. How cute. Enjoyed the read.
10/27/09
Fresh, young thinking. This is a welcome entry into a world where so often we write from a much older perspective. Creative.

Mona
Unique writing on topic and very entertaining. Loved it!
10/27/09
So well written. You have a gift! Very fun!
Thanks for kind comments on my article too.
10/27/09
Enjoyed this one. You're a good writing and I doubt you'll be in level one for long.
10/28/09
I liked the comparison of the state of her thoughts to a popcorn machine - a very clever comparison. I liked your style and the use of italics.
This was a delight to read; and had me guessing for explanations right along with the family. Reminds me of how many times I would have been better off simply biting my tongue. One observation and it comes in the first sentence. "Bridget twirled the pencil between her fingers, her thoughts situated as calmly in her mind as corn kernels in a popcorn machine, bouncing in a frenzied chaos." I would have left out the word frenzied and left chaos to speak for what was going on in her mind. I think the word is strong enough without the modifier. However, that is just my opinion and I truly enjoyed this piece from start to finish!
10/28/09
This is so delightfully different from everything else I've read this week. I love reading what you write! Well done.
10/28/09
From the alliteration of the title through the mystery of the ending, this was an enjoyable read that grabbed my attention and kept it throughout.
10/28/09
Great voice - very fun and fresh. A funny story that made me smile. Your writing is very good!