Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Black (10/15/09)
- TITLE: Into The Light
By Lois Farrow
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Not only was anxiety great within me, it felt like a great black cloud had enveloped my mind completely. I couldn’t think straight, I was barely functioning with the house and family. Sin, guilt and despair accumulated and I could see no way out. Except one. I began to make plans to take my life, and thought it was best to take my young children with me; it would have been too terrible for them to be left.
One day I came to the end of myself. I knelt by a chair in the living room and cried, “Lord, please take my mind. I can’t manage it myself.” I stayed by that chair for a long time, just crying and unable to say anything more.
Recovery was not immediate, but it started that day. Later I learnt a model of recovery from grief; the upward line is not straight but a series of ups and downs. It was like that for me, as over the next few months the ups were higher each time, and the downs were not so far down. The Lord gave me a song to replace the dark thoughts which had replayed incessantly in my head.
“He is exalted, He is exalted, The King is exalted on high.
Creation will praise Him, His saints will adore Him,
The King is exalted on high.”
This took my focus off myself and on to the Lord. I praise God for a full recovery and a fulfilled and happy life.
Now when I look at my grown children and my grandchildren, I thank God constantly for bringing me out of the darkness and keeping me in the light of His love.
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