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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Black (10/15/09)

TITLE: Lessons Learned Fishing with Dad
By Charlotte Seymour
10/20/09


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Lessons Learned Fishing with Dad


Psst…
Psst…Sally…you awake,” whispered Sally’s father?

Sally’s head emerged from under her sleeping bag. “Are we going fishing now?” Sally strained to see her father in the darkness. “Daddy, it’s awfully dark in here. I can’t see a thing. Where are you?”

“I’m right here honey, hurry up it will be light soon.”

“Why do we have to get up so early, gasped Sally as she struggled to wiggle into her jeans?”

“The fish are biting now. If you want fresh trout for breakfast, we need to go fishing when they are hungry. Are you coming or not?”

“You bet I’m coming. Hold on just a second, I can’t find my other shoe.”

“Ssshhh…don’t wake your mother.”

“I’m already awake you two, mumbled Sally’s mother. What’s going on?”

“Oops, sorry honey, we didn’t mean to wake you. Sally and I are going fishing. We were trying to be quiet…do you want to come fishing with us?”

“No! Some of us just want to sleep when it’s still dark outside!”

Sally and her father made a hasty exit from their family tent. “Was mom mad dad?”

“No, not really honey she’s just sleepy. She’s more irritated than mad. I told her last night I intended to take you fishing with me. Your mom is looking forward to sleeping in this morning.”

“Boy, it sure is dark out here isn’t it?”

“It seems that way now, but it will be light soon.”

Click…her father turned on his flashlight and its powerful beam cut a slice of light through the black night. Sally had to concentrate following in her father’s footsteps illuminated only by a dancing circlet of light as he picked his way down the hillside. Hugh granite boulders loomed on either side of the tiny foot path flanked by tall pine trees like silhouette sentries. The morning air was crisp with a bite of cold. Sally shivered and pulled her sweat shirts’ hood up over her head.

Minutes later they reached the bottom of the hill. Stumbling over broken rocks jumbled and heaped close together Sally heard the splash of water against the rocks as they neared the shoreline. A few more steps and she could make out the outline of their tiny boat. Her father motioned for her to climb in first. He shoved their boat backward into the inky night. The tiny boat rocked side to side as her father made his way to the stern of the boat. Sally heard the squash of a boat cushion as he settled himself on his seat. She saw her father make several quick arm movements near the rear of the boat then suddenly the outboard motor roared into life.

Sally turned around and sat facing forward as their boat surged through the enormous black hole. Thrilled, Sally felt just like a real explorer going on an adventure. The rush of wind in her face was exhilarating. Several minutes passed when suddenly the pitch of the motor changed as the boat slowed down. Even when the engine was turned off their boat continued to glide effortlessly skimming across the smooth surface of the lake. Mesmerized, Sally studied the lake watching twinkles from tiny light sparkles dancing over the shiny mirror surface reflecting millions of stars glittering in the black night above. Fascinated Sally sat and looked slowly around. “Boy daddy, I feel like I am in the center of the world.”

Her father chucked. “You like this Sally?”

“Yes! Look at all the stars daddy, how many do you think there are?”

“Millions for sure honey. Did you know that God made the stars?”

“Huh? Really, I learned in Sunday school that God made heaven and earth. I don’t remember anything about stars though.”

“I love looking at the stars at night because it reminds me just how big God is, said her father. The same God that made all this… loves us. Isn’t that incredible?”

“Where do you think God is right now daddy?”

“Oh, honey, He is right here.”

“Where is here… exactly?”

“Here, as in with us as we sit in our little boat in the middle of Ashurst Lake.”

“Then if He is here, who is with all the other people in the world?”

“Sally, God is… He is powerful enough to create the world and is everywhere at the same time. God isn’t limited by time or space.
I hope you remember Sally the God who created the world loves you.”


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This article has been read 269 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Yvonne Blake 10/23/09
Beautiful! Great dialogue and descriptions! This line was a bit confusing "Is mom mad dad?" because you need to capitalize "Mom" and "Dad." Great writing! Keep it up!
Marie Fink10/24/09
A great father-son rendition and keeping Mom respected, but human, needing sleep.
Marie Fink10/24/09
Ooops.. Father-daughter
Ruth Brown 10/27/09
You took me right along on the adventure.You capturedd the wonder and gave The Father all the credit. Well done.
Jan Ackerson 10/28/09
Sweet story! I love daddies and daughters.

There are some places where your punctuation is off. For example, you should have written...

"Psst...Sally...you awake?" whispered Sally's father.

The question mark goes with the question, not the dialogue tag.

I enjoyed your easy-going writing style.
Pam Ford Davis 10/28/09
Nice "Daddy's little girl" experience!