The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 377 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
10/23/09
Beautiful! Great dialogue and descriptions! This line was a bit confusing "Is mom mad dad?" because you need to capitalize "Mom" and "Dad." Great writing! Keep it up!
10/24/09
A great father-son rendition and keeping Mom respected, but human, needing sleep.
10/24/09
Ooops.. Father-daughter
10/27/09
You took me right along on the adventure.You capturedd the wonder and gave The Father all the credit. Well done.
10/28/09
Sweet story! I love daddies and daughters.

There are some places where your punctuation is off. For example, you should have written...

"Psst...Sally...you awake?" whispered Sally's father.

The question mark goes with the question, not the dialogue tag.

I enjoyed your easy-going writing style.
10/28/09
Nice "Daddy's little girl" experience!