The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/23/09
good development of the main character. nice tie in to the theme, too.
10/25/09
We all suffer from black thoughts, but we should never tarry there for very long. Good reminder.
10/26/09
Some good things here, but a bit confusing and hard to read. perhaps you had trouble at submission with formatting.
I felt the black, that's the real point!
10/27/09
A great start!

There's some editing needed here for spelling and punctuation--and I really didn't understand the relationships between your characters, what the "headquarters" were...several necessary details seemed to be missing.

But you've definitely got a storyteller's heart, and I hope you keep writing. Study the entries in Advanced and Masters to see what works here...and keep going!