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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Blue (10/08/09)

TITLE: Breathe
By Shellie Bailey
10/15/09


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It had been like any other day for Chris, he woke up early and dressed for school and wished he could of got just a couple more hours of sleep. He grabbed a granola bar and rushed out the front door towards the campus. He found a seat in the back of his psychology class and settled in. The professor began his spill and Chris zoned off like normal.

A sudden noise startled him from his daydream, he glanced around. He was in a room of white. Confusion set in as he studied his surroundings trying to figure out where he was and how he arrived. There was nothing just white. It surrounded him. His mind raced and panic kicked in.
“Hello!” he cried out.
There was no echo and no response.
His heart raced and his mind fought to process the situation. Last thing he remembered was sitting in his psychology class and he dozed off.
It’s a dream. He told himself. I am dreaming. His nerves began to calm.
If it’s a dream then I just need to wake up. How do I wake up? He pinched himself. Nothing.

The whiteness began to change and darken. Panic engulfed him once again. He was underwater. His heart raced. He was surround by deep blue water. He was holding his breath. He knew he couldn’t hold it forever. He pushed himself and swam upward, but it was like he was going no where. I am going to die in my dream. I am going to die. His mind kept repeating it over and over.

“Chris.” A voice called out.
Now I am hearing things he thought.
“Chris, its ok just breathe” The voice called to him
Just breathe. He thought. Just breathe and die. Could you die in a dream? He did not know. He was scared.

Suddenly a warmth swept over him in the vastness of blue and he felt calm. He heard the voice again urging him to breathe. He gave in and exhaled.

His mind swam in the blue waters of Gods glory. The intoxicating and overwhelming waters which freed ones mind, body and soul. He felt alive. He felt free and he felt loved. He felt God’s glory here in this water, in this dream and realized his life just changed. He breathed in a new life.


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This article has been read 402 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Laura Manley10/15/09
This was an interesting story; however, it seemed to move too quickly from the "norm" to the "dream." Word count is a consideration, I know. Don't forget to use either a single quote or italics when it is you talking to yourself, i.e., 'Can a person die in a dream?' Again, you had me in the first paragraph, but it jumped so quickly into this dream state that it took me a while to get me back into the story.
Dimple Suit10/15/09
Interesting concept. I could not understand the jump from classroom to dream. Was the dream illusional to finding Christ? Or did he die in the classroom and was welcomed home? Perhaps that was the intent, to leave the reader guessing. Keep it up for you do have a talent here.
Marie Fink10/17/09
A guilty conscience for falling asleep. ha.ha. Great beginning, transition weak, but excellent ending.
Mary Knoll Santos10/22/09
I liked it very much! I'm quite flexible (tee-hee, smile).

You have a great talent in writing. Keep it up!