The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
10/15/09
This was an interesting story; however, it seemed to move too quickly from the "norm" to the "dream." Word count is a consideration, I know. Don't forget to use either a single quote or italics when it is you talking to yourself, i.e., 'Can a person die in a dream?' Again, you had me in the first paragraph, but it jumped so quickly into this dream state that it took me a while to get me back into the story.
10/15/09
Interesting concept. I could not understand the jump from classroom to dream. Was the dream illusional to finding Christ? Or did he die in the classroom and was welcomed home? Perhaps that was the intent, to leave the reader guessing. Keep it up for you do have a talent here.
10/17/09
A guilty conscience for falling asleep. ha.ha. Great beginning, transition weak, but excellent ending.
I liked it very much! I'm quite flexible (tee-hee, smile).

You have a great talent in writing. Keep it up!