The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/21/09
I didn't know that either! Interesting, and a creative way to teach us a lesson.
10/21/09
well done intersting peice. You made the mistake I sometimes do of getting wrapped up in the peice and changing for the first person I at the begining into the third person once you meet Sarah!
10/23/09
Hi Ken! Thanks a bunch for the critique. It was helpful. In answer to your question, I believe some Christian rock artists like Pillar (which I'm listening to now!) have awesome music along with awesome lyrics full of truth. However, other Christian rock bands do have music that is hard to distinguish from secular and I made a note of that at the intro to my song.

Okay! Good story here. Short but interesting. Diana is right that you switched from first person to third person and should keep the whole thing in first person. Sarah's answer to your question is a good comparison of how moving away from God leads to darkness, emptiness, and danger. Great work and God bless! Thanks for sharing.