The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/15/05
Yeah. This is good, albeit a little predictable. Tighten the dialog a bit and this is a number 1 choice.
08/18/05
Nicely done, but I kind of lost track of who was saying what. Good descriptions.
Very descriptive. Have you thought of turning this into a skit? I think it could work very well and may even have more impact. Just a thought. Keep writing!