The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
10/10/09
VERY well written! Love the name of your protagonist, the open ending, and the light tone. Excellent story for teens, and one of my favorites on this level.
10/11/09
You have accurately captured the feelings of a teenage girl. I really enjoyed reading this story.
Well written. Good job.
10/16/09
This brought back memories of some of those church camp bus rides. I very good story that would be good for youth to read. Congratulations on the Highly Commended placement.
10/17/09
LOL What a cute story! I well remember the crushes of my youth, thinking I'd die if "he" didn't ask me out.

You've got some great description going on here. I especially liked how the lurching bus broke the invisible barrier. Thought that was well done.

Congratulations on your high ranking. Good job. :0)
10/21/09
So glad this story got the recognition it deserves. Congratulations. I truly enjoyed getting to know your MC through your "showing" words and descriptive phrases. Excellent writing.