The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
08/18/05
This has some really good descriptions and I enjoyed reading it, but there are a few things that would make it better -- ie "He gave a lot of instructions of which I did not pay much attention to." is an awkward sentence. Numbers should be written out (I think if they are lower than 100?). There is a lot of potential here :)
Enjoyable! I could relate to this! I have a husband who loves nothing better than to drag us all up and down hills until we reach the highest point. With a little bit of editing this could be a great piece. Thanks for sharing.