The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
10/08/09
This story is very well written. I can't say I find the ending believable, though. I can't picture a son being so quick to accept his mother's death. I think there would be a lot more grieving first, before he got to the acceptance.
10/08/09
There's definitely a talent here for writing, although the beginning did not really connect with the rest of the story, just a place to put in the week's topic. Not sure why the text is like it is either, maybe you are not using wordwrap or something correctly. Keep working at it and improvement will come.
10/09/09
A couple of sentences could use a bit better flow but, other than that, absolutely beautiful!
I see some writing talent here. You definitely pulled me into the story, and there were several surprises at the end that I thought were nicely done.

I don't think that your opening sentence was enough to make this piece on topic for the week, but that doesn't mean this wasn't a good story. I'm glad you shared it.

Keep on writing. I look forward to seeing more from you.
10/10/09
Good story. I can definitely see the boy experiencing the "vision" as described. I also agree with an earlier comment that the grieving should have been more pronounced. But other than that, it kept me reading to see what came next. Looking forward to reading more from you!
10/11/09
Great job with the dialect and rural flavor in this story.

I'm not sure what happened with your formatting, but I'd encourage you to use the "Preview" button before you hit the "Submit" button. Then you can see if the formatting has issues, and fix them before your entry is permanent.

This was a very good entry!
I enjoyed your story very much - your use of the southern dialect brought me back to when I was growing up. I was easily drawn into the story, and found myself wanting it to be longer so I could get more details of their lives. Keep it up!