The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
09/13/09
I love the sweet premise of this story. What a heartwarming idea. The story she wrote was so cute, too and authentic.
The first part of this entry was especially engaging because I think it was more show than the second half. I think the second half you do mostly telling.
I look forward to reading more of your work!
09/13/09
A charming little story...I stumbled a little about the names; Lula and Sarah. Then again, I have many names for my kids, lol. Either way, I adored your MC. Nicely done.
09/13/09
Very enjoyable story with Sarah beginning so young with her writing.
09/13/09
This reads as if it could be true. Your MC sounds adorable. I did stumble a tiny bit on the phrase "group of sticky notes". The word "group" just sounds a little awkward, although it's not wrong. I wonder if "stack" or "pile" might work better? This is a very minor thing in this charming story, though. Very nicely done and an enjoyable read.
09/14/09
Engaging story with really fine characterization.

Be careful about switching tenses--you went from past to present and back again in a few places.

You're a fine writer, and I suspect you'll be moving up in the levels soon.
09/16/09
I liked Sarah's first story. It's so simple,and yet it captures the real essence of a wonderful story. It was a little hard to follow the nicknames. In a story this short, it probably would have been better to just stick to one name for the girl, but that's my only real concern wiith your story.