The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/15/05
Nice visuals on your protagonist's morning jog. Add some variety to your piece by beginning sentences with different words (you have quite a few that begin with "She...")
08/17/05
Good descriptions, I could see it all in my head. :)
08/19/05
Very vivid. Felt like I was there. I agree -- try using different words to begin your sentences, and make sure you use the correct words, i.e. sense instead of since (at the end).
Thank you for reminding us to take time to take in the sights God has made and that are all around us. You could try to vary the way you begin your sentences. For example, "She whispered a quiet amen and opening her eyes, saw the sunlight ..." could be easily changed to "Whispering a quite amen, she opened her eyes and saw the sunlight..." The meaning doesn't change but it just makes it more interesting for the reader when the sentences don't all start with "she". Keep on writing.