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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Birth (infancy) (08/20/09)

TITLE: A Re-Run for Nick?
By Noel Mitaxa
08/25/09


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“What’s going on out there?” Nick wondered, more from curiosity than concern. He’d become aware of extra activity outside his cave. Some voices were almost familiar; and he’d sensed some routine – even predictability – at times.

But curiosity arose from a few directions. He sensed he’d been there before, but he could only retrace his last few months with any certainty. And when he’d arrived, or where he’d come from, were lost in obscurity. It was almost like watching a very old movie rerun: his recall only kicked in as each scene played out, but he could not anticipate what was coming next.

Nick’s cave was damp, but it afforded all the warmth and shelter he needed, and he’d found enough to eat within its confines. Yet there was also a familiar but mystical sense of security. He could neither explain nor understand it. Not that he needed to, for he felt that himself was the one who was being understood.

This security eased his concern about the ripple effects of distant seismic activity which may have fed his increasing sense of claustrophobia. For the cave had seemingly – then definitely - begun to shrink, which made keeping and developing his fitness levels increasingly difficult.

As the seismic activity increased in strength and frequency, Nick was beginning to wonder if he had somehow attracted it! He was alarmed as the walls started shaking around him, until inspection afterwards revealed no structural damage. For these walls appeared to comprise soft material that could restore its shape, which added to his sense of being understood.

But tremors were becoming more violent and more regular; so some way out to a safer place became an increasingly-attractive option for him.

If only he could find the mouth of the cave…

Nick could now hear crying and screaming out there - with soothing sounds following each outburst – and his every sense shifted onto high-alert, for something unusual was definitely happening …

Suddenly without warning, a tectonic shift engulfed him as he felt his cave-world squeezing down all over him. Then he was caught in an unfamiliar pulsating pattern of thrusting actions, somehow being pushed closer to the noise outside, into a strange, glowing redness.

A moment later, his familiar surroundings of security, darkness and dampness had evaporated in a burst of dazzling light. Two massive hands had grasped his head and shoulders, with everything below his waist remaining trapped in a vice-like grip at the mouth of his cave!

Then Nick’s cave - the only environment he could remember - abruptly pulsed again, and his legs were now free - until one of those gigantic hands had seized them and inverted him as it raised them above his head!

Being held upside down further confused his efforts at reconnaissance and emphasised his vulnerability, but he gradually sensed the light soften…

His lungs filled with air, his heart filled with hope, his eyes scanned a beauty he could not describe and, against a quietening backdrop of sighs and gasps, he cried his personal contribution to the inexpressible joy of new life.

Those huge hands gently placed him to nestle against his mother’s still-heaving breast, where he also felt his nervous father’s hesitant, awkward caresses. Disorientation and vulnerability dissolved within a fresh, overwhelming dimension of warmth; recapturing for him the earlier, undemanding security of his cave-home.

So Nick began to relax into bonding dependence upon this couple whose love had conceived him within that vast, intimate Understanding…

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, l know that full well.” (Psalm 139: 13 -14)





I called the baby Nick and installed adult concepts in his mind to reflect how Nicodemus had tied himself up in obstetrics when Jesus told him of his need to be born again. (John 3:3) It is no plea to support reincarnation.
Otherwise I’m inviting readers to relive the whole miracle of physical birth, and how God trusts fallible people like us to participate with him in expanding his creation.


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This article has been read 472 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Verna Mull08/27/09
I would call this an interesting study.
Deana Thomas08/29/09
I thought Nick was a caveman at the dawn of time! I was wondering along with him what was going on out there. Your choice of words gave a real sense of maleness. By the time I figured out what was going on, I was chuckling..."I should've known!" Your story is very enjoyable reading. Thank you for explaining Nicodemus' confusion of Newbirth with physical birth. This is very nicely written.
Gregory Kane09/03/09
Nicely done. It flows smoothly with no detours and the message comes across loud and clear, albeit with a gentle dose of teasing at first.
The idea of reincarnation hadn't occurred to me. The only thing that suggests this (artistic licence aside) was the title.
I did something similar a while ago with my story "Prison Break." Feel free to have a look and compare versions.
Bless you
Diana Dart 09/03/09
Loved the way this whole piece felt - the thought pattern of this little guy was just so endearing. Especially loved the whole idea of "understanding" or that he was "understood." That just tugged at my heart strings and rang oh so true. Nice job Noel! Fabulous to find you on here by the way.
Deborah Porter 09/03/09
Hi Noel. I just wanted to leave a quick note to let you know your entry, A Re-Run for Nick? actually did very well in the Birth Challenge. Although you didn't receive an award, you made it into the Highest Rankings for Level 1, placing 11th in that Level.

The competition is always intense in Level 1, so you deserve a pat on the back. :-)

If you'd like to check the highest rankings for yourself, you can find them here:
http://www.faithwriters.com/Boards/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=26785

The highest rankings are posted every Thursday evening on the Message Boards.

Again, well done!

Just a quick reminder about this year’s Page Turner Contest for 500 members. If you have a novel in the works (even just the first chapter), this contest is a must to enter:
http://www.faithwriters.com/myaccount/FaithWriters500/contest-pageturner.php

(And I'll be in touch soon about the Aussie Conference.)

With love, Deb (Challenge Coordinator)