The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 808 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
08/15/05
Pretty close, and lots of great rhythm through much of the work. Some adjustments in pace and this is a winner.
08/17/05
Very cute! A great poem for a children's book :)
08/19/05
Very fun read. I enjoyed the kept himself to himself. Needs more of an explaination to tie in the scripture I think - more of a build but I too could see this as a childrens picture book.
08/19/05
Needs a little more work and I love little animals in stories. Good concept. Needs 'tweaking'.
08/19/05
Found you! A lovely gentle tale. It would have flowed better for me with punctuation. It's written so well that I can identify with Freddie but there's a gap in the story, what motivated him to change?
08/20/05
I thoughtit was very cute.
08/20/05
I hate mice! But I think Freddie sounds like a dear. I enjoyed the poem - I think it would be adorable with some editing as a children's book. I know my daughter would have fun doing illustrations.
08/20/05
Simple tail ... powerful lesson! Good job!