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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Birth (infancy) (08/20/09)

TITLE: Caela's Problem
By Ken Ebright
08/24/09


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"Aaaaak, cough cough."

"Caela, oh my goodness your choking," as Gloria a new mom in her twenties noticed her daughter who was a few months old had trouble eating her waffles."

"Ken, I need your help, were going to need to take Caela to the emergency room!" said Gloria who invited her brother over for dinner.

"Ok"

Gloria's voice had a serious tone, "Caela has had a problem with choking lately. I think we need to get it checked out."

"I need to be to work by 11," as Ken was concerned about being late to work.

Caela's dad (Pete) was at work at Northwest Airlines where he was a mechanic. Ken worked overnights at Shop NBC as a camera operator. Gloria was a stay at home mom.

"That's fine; Pete can pick us up at the hospital."

A short time later Ken and Gloria walked into Children's Hospital. It was a beautiful building just south of downtown Minneapolis.

"Ken, If you would stay with Caela wile I get her checked in," Gloria handed Ken the car seat with Caela as she went up to the front desk.

Ken started to rub Caela's tiny little fingers as they sat in the waiting room.

Five minutes later Gloria came back, "They want us to go to room one."

"Wow! That's fast," as Ken was amazed by how short of time it was.

When they got into the treatment room the nurse took the baby's temperature.

Fifteen minutes later Ken realized that he needed to go to work, "Gloria, I am going to need to go to work now. Can you call me at work and tell me how she is doing?

"Sure no problem,"

Around three in the morning Ken got the call from his sister.

"What did the doctor say?"

Gloria's raspy voice showed how tired she was, "Her throat is swollen the doctors say it is allergic reaction. She is going to be ok but she is going to need a monitor hook up to her that will sound if she starts to choke."

As Ken took a long breath, "That is good news. Can I go and see her?"

"That would be fine because the doctor is going to keep her here for a few days," Gloria said.

Ken went to see her the following night and held his see niece in his arms. This was a moment for uncle and niece to bond.


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Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 08/31/09
Such a scary situation! I was very anxious to hear what happened to this little girl.

Your dialog seemed a little stiff. Maybe try reading it out loud and seeing if it sounds natural.

You certainly tugged at my heartstrings. Nice job.