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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Winter (the season) (08/13/09)

TITLE: School Day
By Michael Pratt


“Hurray! School is out!” Screamed nine year old Jaden as the news announced all schools would be closed. Kya, his sister peered out the window mesmerized by the new fallen snow.

“I am going to get my snow suite on so I can go outside! Hurray! No School!”

“No school! Yeah!” Three year old Kya yelled mimicking her brother and clapping.

“Not until you and your sister eat your breakfast.” Dad said.

“I’m not hungry.” Jaden tried to weasel his way out of eating right away because he didn’t want to miss any time out in the snow even though the snow was not about to melt any time soon. Jaden figured he would not have any time to enjoy it. After all a nine year old has so many things to do in a day!

“After… breakfast.” Dad’s tone of voice changed from a bright cheery tone to a demanding one with a hint of frustration.

“Okay....” Jaden’s head dropped as if the world was coming to end and turned to head for the kitchen. Then an idea perked him back up, “Can we at least get ready while breakfast is being made?” his countenance changed to excitement again with a smile on his face ear to ear.

“Oh ... I guess”, said dad. He was a little hesitant at first but then he remembered as a child how excited he got when it snowed a lot.

Jaden ran to his bedroom and slammed the door to get changed! His mind was running 90 miles an hour trying to organize in his brain what he and his sister would do first. Snowmen, snow fort, and then a snowball fight after all, nine year olds needs to start planning out his busy day. Jaden finished changing and had all his snow gear on and even his coat and hat so that he would not waste time once he got done eating his cereal.

Dad turned as Jaden sat at the table fully dressed even with his gloves on.

“You’re going to be hot in that coat”, Dad said.

“No I won’t, I don’t want to miss all the snow!”

Dad smiled, shook his head as he set a bowl of Fruit Loops in front of him, “At least remove your gloves”

Jaden removed his gloves and laid them to the side and started to dig in to the bowl with his spoon.

“You need to thank God for your food.” Dad said as Jaden brought the spoon up he paused at his wide open mouth.

Jaden put the spoon down, folded his hands to pray. “Dear Lord, Thank you for this food and closing my school because of the snow! Amen”

It put a smile on dad. Kids are so innocent and they tell you like it is. He thought.

"You know Jaden there is a lot of similarities in winter and Jesus Christ."

"mmm hmmmm." Jaden said as he shoveled another spoon full of cereal in his mouth.

"Well, if you look at the snow and how pure and white it is. That is a picture of a brand new Christian that had just gotten saved."

"Just like last month when I got saved."

"Yeah," Dad smiled, "just like when you were saved. Later on the snow plow will go through and scrap the snow off the road and the snow starts to melt. It starts to get all brown, yucky and dirty then it doesn't look pretty anymore and you won’t even be able to eat it."

"Ewwwwww gross", Jaden made a face as he shoveled his last bite of cereal in to his mouth.

"Yeah, that is like a picture of a Christian that is in the world and doing things that he is not supposed to. Not losing your salvation but that relationship you have with Christ gets yucky and you wander away from Him."

"Oh ok!” Jaden three back his milk cup and gulped it down then looked at dad with a milk mustache, "Can I go now?"

"Ok, but wipe your face off," Dad said quickly before Jaden jumped off the chair.

Jaden slammed the napkin on his face wiping, and quickly grabbed his gloves and ran to the door. The door slammed shut as he ran outside.

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Member Comments
Member Date
Joanne Sher 08/24/09
You definitely captured Jaden's enthusiasm, and I enjoyed "chasing after him" as he got ready and had breakfast.

There are a couple times you switched point of view in the story (sometimes you told it from Jaden's perceptions, and sometimes from his dad's). It's generally better to stick with one person's viewpoint.

I like how you slipped the lesson in too - very nice.
PamFord Davis 08/26/09
Article reveals the simple pleasures life offers through the eyes of a child! Spiritual truths ring out!