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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Winter (the season) (08/13/09)

TITLE: Mongopark
By williams Strong
08/18/09


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Grum! The heavens cried aloud. Suddenly he

woke up. “Oh, what a beautiful rain bow!” he

screamed and then smile. But before he realizes,

his visibility suddenly disappeared like a mist.

First, he thought he had gone blind. He stood up

yet; he felt he was still in a rat hole. His eyes were

still failing him. “What’s wrong? Does the night

fall like objects?”
“It’s just after noon. There is no eclipse today; it’s

definitely not the last day. What the hell is

happening in this stony desert?” The wind blew

much stronger then a light shower. “It’s a gray

day. No games, nothing.I have to go back before

the day becomes red.”
His foot sores as he race on those small razor

bladed stones. Every step downloads pain,

frustration and regret. He became exhausted when

he got to the foot of the mountain. Then the light

rain shower stopped “What a flash of light. The

rain deceived me. I’m going back to my traps. I

should be strong and not be scared of the winds.”
So he did. But first, he decided to go to the shores

to quench his taste. But half way into his journey,

he met the mouth of the ocean. “Wow!, have I

travelled this far, within this shortest time?” he

whispered to himself. “Perhaps I was very fast.”

“Oh! What a tree in the midst of waters. Let me

get some fruits for myself.” He walked towards the

tree, looking around trying to reconcile reality and

his thoughts.. “The mouths of rivers are often very

shallow. “Wow! This is the only tree here, like the

tree in the Mongo…” Before he finished his

sentence, he was surprised and shocked to his

brain when he saw his hat hanged on the tree, just

exactly where he kept it. Words disappeared from

his world.
Quickly, he put his hands on his head and there

was no cap on it. Before he would turn to look

back, the same strong cool chilled coast wind

slapped him more than a hundred times on his

black dreaded handsome face. Fear suddenly

seized him and he began to shiver. “This is Mongo

rocky desert.” To prove wrong his disbelieve, he

jump up quickly and back into the waters. The

stones under his feet bit him like a snake bite.

Then he knew where he was, the Time and the

Season. “Its winter,” he whispered in sorrow.
Dra!, heaven thunder! Then it stroked again. The

space of lightening that brightened up the

darkness that blinded his visibility was like a

small crack on the wall. With an eagle eye, what

he saw through that crack was far more than his

life experience put together. With quivering

whispering, he said, “Now I have a reason to go

back.”
Now, out of the waters, he discovered he was just at

the foot of the mountain. “Oh my God!.” As he

climbs up, heaven kept blinking his white and

black eyes with tears raining down his face. The

grasses became wet, while the rock became

slippery. Rills reunited and formed streams which

flow over his body down the mountain. His body

became a rain gauge and his hair a wind vane.

Through the craks, Mark could see and measure

the volume of water flowing into the rivers. Like

in the days of Noah.“ Now, at the top of the

mountain he knew there is the Mongo Park Forest

he most cross. He turned around in despair, not

knowing exactly where he was and where the

forest lies precisely. “Oh my God. I must cross the

Mongo parkforest and the Mongo park river. The

mouth of the ocean is at parallel with Mongo Park

River, while the foot of the mountain out lays the

forest. But now, the mouth of the ocean is at the

foot of the mountain. “No! Mongopark,

Mongopark!” he shouted in despair.” Father!”
“I need you, I love you, I promise. I need you, I

love you, I promise. sI need you, I love you, I

promise.”
Suddenly, he got up. His body was shivering, eyes

wide opened, mouth agap. “Calm down honey,

you’re just dreaming?”
Mark looked and realized he was in his room and

on the bed. Then he looked at his wife for a long

while, with true love, in repentance and in tears,

he said to her, “I need you, I love you, I promise.”
“What a winter Dream.” Hanatu whispered.


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This article has been read 186 times
Member Comments
Member Date
Val Clark08/21/09
You have created a dreamlike quality of atmosphere in this piece of writing and used images that are fresh and interesting. I'm assuming English is not your birth language. If I'm right let me encourage you to keep working on your English skills. Try to find someone local who can help you with Englisn expression and grammar. :-)
Yvonne Blake 08/25/09
Interesting dream!
I had a little trouble following your plot..but often that's the way with dreams.
keep writing